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Posted by Positive Aging Community on 04/07/2023

Building Your Personal "Village" For Your Solo Aging, Aging in Place, Affordability and More!


Intentionally reviewing, managing, and growing our network of friends, family, and outside providers is essential our future planning. It can be empowering, fun, and saves us money too!

Join us for a live & interactive discussion that will explore the value of managing your network and specific ideas and approaches to improve your health, personal relationships, family life (and people just like family), income, and career opportunities.

Glenna Crooks, Ph.D author of the forthcoming book Longevity Pioneering: Building Your Village. 

Powerpoint

Listen on your favorite podcast platform 

Would you like to join a pilot concept to explore this concept deeper with like-minded individuals?  We encourage and value everyone's feedback to explore this approach to exploring this topicQuestions Asked

  • Where do you find a list of  young families who would lile to adopt a grandma inr their family?
  • will you provide the powerpoint
  • Any considerations for capacity or motivation to conduct this network self-assessment given different economic, cultural, social, geographic settings? I'm not thinking of anything specific.
  • thank you
  • How can people ask for help from their networks and actually get it?
  • TED talk Amy Grant How to ask for help and get a yes
  • What are your thoughts about putting your needs on Facebook and be careful about someone taking advantage of me.
  • please recommend Dr. Crooks book(s) books on this topic.
  • Thanks so much, Glenna and Steve. One really has to think about this well in advance. The mindmap and Stickies ideas were very helpful.
  • We are our own network…
  • Thank you Glenna and Steve for this important discussion

Chat Transcript

12:12:29     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Counterclockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility https://a.co/d/5UOBD5u

12:17:38     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : I Don't Know How She Does It https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Don't_Know_How_She_Does_It

12:21:59     From  Michele Higgs : Michele Higgs, Community Outreach Coordinator, Home Sharing Program, Housing Initiative Partnership MD --hiphomes.org/home-sharing

12:22:26     From  R ita Sherman : 2-3 decades ago I wasteache

12:22:33     From  ESTHER GREENHOUSE : Resonating. Even when not solo, the family caregiver doesn’t typically have sufficient support from family, friends, and community.

12:23:01     From  R ita Sherman : 2-3 decades ago I was teaching others about networking.

12:30:16     From  Louisa Horne : Susan Boyle was the singer

12:31:25     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Susan Boyle website https://www.susanboylemusic.com/

12:31:26     From  ESTHER GREENHOUSE : Many older adults don’t have the ability to put into their appearance.  Are there any programs to train health care providers and others to be understanding and address this bias?

12:32:28     From  R ita Sherman : more recently with COVID and in 2022 I had medical issues resulting surgery with 5 months of recovery.  when hospital said you cannot get a cab to go home from hospital...you need a friend or family to accompany you home.  my close friends or family have died. one brother is awol.  3 have moved away...many states away.  so I have a few acquaintances who I cannot depend on.  neighbors who were closer have moved away.  who and how to make close friends helping each other or a circle of friends is what I am hoping g to create? how to go about this?

12:34:05     From  ESTHER GREENHOUSE : @Rita I wonder if your hospital and/or Office for Aging can expand their Ombudsman program to provide such support.  Sometimes there are also “Villages” where people help each other.

12:34:47     From  ESTHER GREENHOUSE : Check out the Village to Village Network https://www.vtvnetwork.org/ Villages are created to provide all forms of support as you age.

12:35:52     From  Jessica Seigel   to   Hosts and panelists : I think the speaker should address some of the issues raised in these comments. They are more relevant to solo people who currently are on their own. Most of the “networks” she describes would not necessarily result in the close-by family-like connections that one could depend on for help.

12:35:55     From  Roberta Brooks   to   Hosts and panelists : Another possible  resource https://www.findhelp.org/

12:38:18     From  Jessica Seigel   to   Hosts and panelists : SOLO means you DON’T have family. Most of what the speaker is addressing seems like it is either for people who already have a network taking stock of it or the kind of networking that is broad but shallow.

12:45:24     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Here is a discussion with a interesting intergenerational program that connects older adults with college kids https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos/big-and-mini-bridging-generations-to-create-meaningful-connections

12:46:54     From  natalie doyle : @Rita I joined the local Neighborhood Village. They helped me with appointments, groceries etc. I joined the Arlington Neighborhood Village. There’s an Alexandria Village,, another in Fairfax, at least a couple in DC, one in Silver Spring, etc. Look at Steve Gurney’s publication just a couple of months ago.

12:48:12     From  Jan Brito   to   Hosts and panelists : There are over 26 villages in Montgomery County MD

12:48:31     From  Sue Winter Hallman : This is Sue from Davidson NC. We have a Senior Community Connections that is 6 yrs. old and is based on the Village to Village model out of Boston. Very fulfilling and very helpful. SeniorCommunityConnections.org

12:50:40     From  R ita Sherman : thx Natalie I live in Laurel Md and also spend time in Columbia Md...not aware of any villages in Laurel maybe in Columbia but not sure they let people join NOT living in Columbia.

12:51:23     From  R ita Sherman : thx Sue for info

12:51:43     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Here is the national directory of villages https://www.vtvnetwork.org/content.aspx?page_id=1905&club_id=691012

12:52:57     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Here is another resource for DC/MD/Nova https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/articles/what-is-a-village

12:53:46     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : What was the drug?  Why just allude to the drug?

12:54:29     From  M Millican : The Village in Howard is open for Howard County residents

12:55:25     From  R ita Sherman : unfortunately I live in Anne Arundel co

12:55:30     From  M Millican : https://thevillageinhoward.org/

12:57:17     From  Barbara Osgood   to   Hosts and panelists : I am 88 with a PhD in Social Gerontology, so intellectually I agree heartily with your presentation. Yet my chosen life style is very different. I have been living alone since my divorce many years ago, and I love it! Of course I have a support system, but I have lost six very, very dear friends in the past year, and I am not looking for more. I love living alone. I rescur old dogs and currently live with three. I suffer from bipolar disorder but have learned to manage it. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, and a handful of friends with whom I have an occasional lunch or dinner.

There was a time when I was a senior executive and had a busy business and social life.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that we seniors are all different. Some of are unhappy without lots of friends and a busy social life. Some of us don’t need it.

12:57:22     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Glenna Crooks <Glenna@glennacrooks.com>

12:57:54     From  Sidi Lemine   to   Hosts and panelists : Thanks Glenna, so interesting!

13:02:14     From  natalie doyle : Arlington County Social Services failed me with transportation I’d been able to get post-fractures on a temporary basis. The Arlington Neighborhood Village was able to provide transportation in the middle of covid, pre-vaccine.

13:02:18     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Tackling the Caregiving Crisis by Design with Esther Greenhouse https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/events/tackling-the-caregiving-crisis-by-design-with-esther-greenhouse

13:04:58     From  Beverly Bernstein Joie   to   Hosts and panelists : What a refreshing, logical perspective! This has been a valuable presentation for me and eye opening!

13:06:28     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : How to ask for help -- and get a "yes" https://www.ted.com/talks/heidi_grant_how_to_ask_for_help_and_get_a_yes

13:06:39     From  Frances Lorenzi   to   Hosts and panelists : I second M Millican’s endorsement of the Village In Howard (in Columbia.  Covers all of Howard County) 443.367.9043 [If there are any HoCo residents out there who are interested in doing something aligned with today’s presentation, get in touch with me.When you call, ask for your msg to be given to Fran Lorenzi and I’ll get back to you.  I’m the coordinator of Programs there and this preesentation has given me lots of ideas re: follow up.   My email is florenzi@hotmail.com.  Let’s work on this together

13:07:03     From  Gloria Levin : An exercise:  Look at your list of those to whom you send birthday, anniversary and holiday greetings.  THEN check off those who do the same to YOU, in reverse/  And the quality.  No reply.  Mailed a birthday card to me. A quick email or a newsy email or a telephone call on my birthday.

13:08:21     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : This is exactly my situation.   Especially when you have to have a colonoscopy!  Solo agers don’t have resources that a network or family does.  Please help!

13:08:29     From  Sue Winter Hallman : Some aging people do not want to even be on their computers for fear of so much. What can a person do to help them not be afraid ?

13:08:51     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : Hospitals and Dentists and doctors need to understand that solo agers are a community that needs help?!

13:09:06     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : There needs to be resources for solo agers

13:09:38     From  Beverly Bernstein Joie   to   Hosts and panelists : I’m wondering how much we can expect our network to provide to us in real time. Will they provide home care or show up at the hospital in the middle of the night. What is realistic and should we consider other communities that need to be discovered?

13:09:42     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : I’ve tried reach out but there are few resources.

13:10:03     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : It’s a very serious issue and not to be overlooked by AARP and other advocacy organizations

13:10:19     From  Barbara Osgood   to   Hosts and panelists : Hospital should have offered a medical transport as an option. Mine did.

13:11:26     From  Dixcy Bosley : Retirement is about community not just finances

13:11:35     From  Elaine Honig : She might check with her church if she has one and check with her pastor who might know someone who habitually  goes out of  his/her way to help others.

13:12:27     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : Absolutely….. i don’t think this model of networks speaks to everyone’s situation.

13:13:00     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : I think the networks should be originated institutionally to help those that don’t or can’t reach out.

13:14:05     From  R ita Sherman : I appreciate ALL the ideas in this meeting.

13:14:05     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Another possible  resource https://www.findhelp.org/

13:15:28     From  Beverly Bernstein Joie   to   Hosts and panelists : The Transition Network is a great network for women.

13:16:20     From  R ita Sherman : Might the pro aging community have a way to ask its attendees, professionals if the members might be interested in helping each other.  any way to ask us so we can get in touch with each other?

13:17:37     From  Steve Gordon : I like Rita’s suggestion.  Maybe we could set up a Facebook or Meetup group?

13:17:58     From  R ita Sherman : where are you located Ms Crooks?

13:17:58     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Beverly Bernstein Joie to All Panelists 01:04 PM

What a refreshing, logical perspective! This has been a valuable presentation for me and eye opening!

13:18:29     From  Glenna Crooks, Ph.D   to   Hosts and panelists : I am in the Philly area

13:18:52     From  Jeanne Kolodner   to   Hosts and panelists : I like Rita"s idea!

13:19:00     From  Sue Winter Hallman : Love this and all you offer. Share this info across the USA for those who are aging.

13:19:12     From  Michele Higgs : Home hsaring can offer an option for individuals who wish to age in place and are interested in renting spare bedrooms in their home to some one looking for an affordable place to live. It offers company, an additional stream of income and someone to help with household tasks hiphomes.org/home-sharing - Michele Higgs - HIP vets both parties confidentially

13:19:19     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Frances Lorenzi to All Panelists 01:06 PM

I second M Millican’s endorsement of the Village In Howard (in Columbia.  Covers all of Howard County) 443.367.9043 [If there are any HoCo residents out there who are interested in doing something aligned with today’s presentation, get in touch with me.When you call, ask for your msg to be given to Fran Lorenzi and I’ll get back to you.  I’m the coordinator of Programs there and this preesentation has given me lots of ideas re: follow up.   My email is florenzi@hotmail.com.  Let’s work on this together

13:19:19     From  Ruth DeHart   to   Hosts and panelists : Glenna, so important. Thank you for your insights and research.  Would you enjoy speaking with you on separate call. Best. Ruth

13:20:52     From  Jessica Seigel   to   Hosts and panelists : coming together as a team to discuss more sounds like a good idea.

13:21:08     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : We need to work with AARP as they are an established advocacy organization and it will be easier to reach elected officials.

13:21:30     From  Michele Higgs : Thank you so much for delivering ideas for mastering this time in our lives

13:21:32     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : We have no agency!

13:21:54     From  Wendy Berger   to   Hosts and panelists : Solos are literally are left to the wolves

13:22:12     From  Elizabeth Yao : Perhaps there could be a continued discussion on this topic with a Part 2 in the near future?

13:23:01     From  Steve Gordon : https://www.amazon.com/Personal-Village-People-Choice-Chance/dp/1887542086/ref=sr_1_2?crid=UILCOEVL3PEK&keywords=personal+village&qid=1680888162&sprefix=personal+village,aps,168&sr=8-2

13:23:14     From  Steve Gordon : Good book above.

13:23:38     From  Barbara Osgood   to   Hosts and panelists : Good point Steve. My children barely tolerate what I want to tell them. My support system has to fill the gap.

13:23:49     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : The Networksage: Realize Your Network Superpower https://a.co/d/0uv05ZO

13:26:32     From  Gloria Levin : Iona House in Tenleytown, DC has an aging solo program, including a course.  And quarterly online meetings with graduates of the program.


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