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Discussion with the author of Solo and Smart, The Roadmap for a Supportive and Secure Future, Carol Marak When author Carol Marak was helping to care for her aging parents, she got a wake-up call. Who, she wondered, would help to care for her when she grew older?
Questions Asked
Chat Transcript
12:05:43 From Marilyn Gordon to Hosts and panelists : Are previous recordings available?
12:06:54 From Carol Marak : Welcome to Solo and Smart. I’m Carol Marak, please contact me Carol@CarolMarak.com if you have questions. Here’s a link to my book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Carol--L.-Marak/e/B09TBFT9QY
12:08:15 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : All of our discussions are posted at retirementlivingsourcebook.com/digital-discussions
12:08:50 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Here are the previous solo aging discussions https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos?q=solo
12:09:10 From Nan Miller : Hello from outside of Albany, NY.
12:10:11 From Lynn Jacobson to Hosts and panelists : Same here. Trying to form a co-housing community in Baltimore is impossible no zoning or density available. No one wants 30 old people in their neighborhood.
12:10:16 From Margie Lidoff to Hosts and panelists : A great book relevant to this topic is "Inheriting Clutter" by Julie Hall
12:10:37 From eric weiss : thanks Carol
12:13:47 From Arlene Polangin : Can you send the link to listen to the past videos. I see them on this, but I need to know how to access them independent of today's program. Arlene to Steve
12:13:48 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Margie Lidoff to All Panelists 12:10 PM
A great book relevant to this topic is "Inheriting Clutter" by Julie Hall
12:14:47 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Lynn Jacobson to All Panelists 12:10 PM
Same here. Trying to form a co-housing community in Baltimore is impossible no zoning or density available. No one wants 30 old people in their neighborhood.
12:15:24 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Michele Higgs to All Panelists 12:02 PM
Michele Higgs, Housing Initiative Partnership, Montgomery County (MD) Home Sharing Program
12:15:41 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Natalie Doyle to All Panelists 12:02 PM
Here from Arlington, VA as well. Greetings to all.
12:16:00 From Patricia Cresta Savage : From Comforcare in Glen Burnie MD serving Howard County and No Anne Arundel County. We provide CNA's and Companions to the Elderly and Disabled. We have nurses on staff who conduct Assessments and follow up Evaluations for our clients. 410 760-8906
12:16:10 From Jacke Schroeder : Would you please show the slide again that has the life domains in a constellation? Thnaks!
12:16:24 From Debra Hallisey : Deb Hallisey here from Lawrenceville, NJ from www.advocateformomanddad.com
12:16:58 From Rebecca Wild-Wesley : Joining from Rhode Island, an aging life care manager specializing in work with proactive planners in planning before aging becomes difficult. Rebecca Wild-Wesley, CMC
12:17:51 From Jacke Schroeder : Good afternoon. I'm Jacke Schroeder, elder abuse prevention and response program at CHANA. jschroeder@associated.org. www.chanabaltimore.org
12:18:49 From Mary Williams : Terrific Topic for today. Mary Williams, Realtor, Senior Real Estate Specialist with Samson Properties serving the Dulles Airport regional area of Northern Virginia
12:21:14 From Elaine C. to Hosts and panelists : Will this presentation be available/accessible again afterwards? Thank you!
12:22:33 From Elaine C. to Hosts and panelists : Also seconding Arlene’s question about past videos, are they available on Steve’s website? Thanks!
12:23:05 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Grey divorce WHILE caregiving full-time elder mom WHILE grieving death of my dad after caregiving a sad suffering ending WHILE ongoing assistance with sibling in group home with intellectual disability WHILE keeping in touch with young adult kids WHILE trying to looking after yourself (last on the list :-( )
12:23:25 From Arlene Polangin : I'd always had a variety of ages in friends. Now I find the older ones have gone into independent or assisted living. Thus, I have fewer friends and with Covid, limited in being able to find new friends. One child estranged and living in Germany. The other has his own life and, at times, I feel like a burden to him.
12:23:35 From Karen Dotson : Karen Dotson, Program Coordinator, Virginia POST (physician order for scope of treatment), www.virginiapost.org an endorsed program of National POLST www.polst.org - POST/POLST communicates your wishes as medical orders. POST/POLST is for the seriously ill or frail and they offer more options than a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. If you know someone who would benefit from a POST/POLST order, contact your doctor or care facility to see if they participate in the program. If not, refer them to their state POST contact.
12:23:58 From Mary Williams : My father passed away at age 39 and my Mom lived to age 97. She never remarried, and while not wealthy, she was totally self sufficient financially. A wonderful role model to her 4 kids.
12:24:11 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : The pandemic has brought into focus what MANY of been dealing with for a very VERY long time
12:24:16 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : All of our discussions are posted at retirementlivingsourcebook.com/digital-discussions
Here are the previous solo aging discussions https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos?q=solo
12:24:56 From Ellen Pincus : Thanks for this wonderful presentation. Ellen Pincus Community Ambassador with Silverado Memory Care Assisted Living in Alexandria, VA Cell 571-775-9408 ellen.pincus@silverado.com.
12:29:12 From Elaine C. : @ Rebecca Wild-Wesley - any suggestions how to find an “aging life care manager” or similar, in my area? Thank you!
12:30:12 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Thank you Carol and Steve :-)
12:30:45 From Jacke Schroeder : Margie may like to read From "The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul" by Connie Zweig. I don't recommend listening to it but reading it. Also, "The Second Half of Life" by Angeles Arrien. :-)
12:31:10 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Money you speak of is VERY typical for a lot of women
12:32:42 From Jacke Schroeder : For women, many women have fewer earning years for child rearing, in addition to lower wages, often.
12:33:53 From Joe Sperling : Eldere law attorney!
12:34:38 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : LOL, I say I'm living a triple decker Club Sandwich (Sandwich Generation)
12:34:42 From Rebecca Wild-Wesley : It is not just a document, it's an identified person such as an elder law attorney. Also, having a relationship with an aging life care manager who can be a coach and guide along the way is very helpful for the solo ager.
12:34:47 From Catherine Turner to Hosts and panelists : My screen shows a statement: Live Transcription has been enabled, but I don't see any closed captions.
12:35:30 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Communicate clearly the true energy and responsibility and time to be your executor etc.
12:36:19 From eric weiss : I hate being a pest by asking help
12:36:53 From Joe Sperling : Get over it. We all need help.
12:38:03 From Margie Lidoff to Hosts and panelists : Thank you, Jackie. ????
12:38:25 From Gelareh Bassiry : Also, remember the Area Agency on Aging in your area is the window to a lot of resources you might not know about .
12:39:00 From Arlene Polangin : Which discussion was Ithat? Arlene I
12:39:01 From Carol Marak : Welcome to Solo and Smart. I’m Carol Marak, please contact me Carol@CarolMarak.com if you have questions. Here’s a link to my book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Carol--L.-Marak/e/B09TBFT9QY
12:39:06 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Great advice Steve!!! re: what your interests are and curiosities, passions etc.
12:39:18 From Arlene Polangin : I do 5 classes from Senior Planet every week.
12:39:44 From Roberta Brooks : Eric, I also don’t like to ask for help, but I say to myself, “if the situation were reversed, I would want that person to ask me for help. “
12:39:45 From Rebecca Wild-Wesley : @Elaine C. There is a data base that you can enter your zip code and find local care managers. https://www.aginglifecare.org/. This is a private pay service, but a great resource.
12:39:47 From Wendy Pachter : It would be good to have discussion group of people with disabilities that are not visible or conditions that are not easily understood. It definitely makes aging solo more difficult in many ways.
12:40:08 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : check out the story of this women we featured on this discussion with senior planet Older Adults Technology Services and Senior Planet https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos?q=senior+planet
12:40:41 From Catherine Turner to Hosts and panelists : Just foun the cc button-problem solved!
12:41:13 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Exactly! Find your Tribe :-)
12:41:39 From Oren Kennedy to Hosts and panelists : NAMI was an excellent reference: https://nami.org/home
12:41:46 From Joe Sperling : Challenges are opportunities!
12:42:23 From Wendy Pachter : But some conditions are rare. And diversity rather than tribalism can lead to creativity and synergy.
12:43:07 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Oren Kennedy to All Panelists 12:41 PM
NAMI was an excellent reference: https://nami.org/home
12:43:10 From Karen Dotson : Meetup groups for adults with Asperger's: https://www.meetup.com/topics/adults-with-aspergers-syndrome/all/
12:43:22 From Gail Crockett to Hosts and panelists : Arlene. I also love Senior Planet which has a ton of classes at seniorplanet.org. I go to lots of classes and learn a lot.
12:44:06 From Carole Klawansky : My life involves eating only whole plant foods. There are no retirement communities that address that need!
12:45:18 From Dixcy Bosley : NORCs Naturally Occurring Retirement Communities Wash DC is fully of wonderful apt buildings with mixed age/ ethnic families / accessibility /transportation
12:46:25 From Arlene Polangin : Yes, a building near me is a NORC and also there are villages where you can connect.
12:47:24 From Jacke Schroeder : As an elder abuse educator, my lens always views situations in all life domains for older adults through assessment of potential exploitation. Private Equity Investment Firms are beginning to purchase Continuing Care Retirement Communities. Explore carefully all contracts and commitments for how your money will be handled if the owners are one of those types of Firms.
12:48:01 From Carole Klawansky : I've done lots of research. The most any place offers is perhaps once a week or one meal a day option!
12:51:19 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : I would love to see the topic of caregiver abuse vs elder abuse. There's lots of elder abuse (which is so sad that's its needed) but I've had to deal with emotional/psychological abuse from my parent so it's not just the 'patient' that can be abused but the other side of the equation.
12:51:27 From Karen Dotson : https://www.vrg.org/seniors/senior_vegan.php
12:52:21 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : I would love to have a discussion on elder abuse From Jacke Schroeder please reach out to steve@proaging.com and we can get it on the calendar!
12:52:44 From eric weiss : thanks Mr Sperlng very difficult
12:53:32 From Carole Klawansky : Thanks Karen. I've used that resource. I'm also SOS free (no sugar, oil and salt!)
12:54:32 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : To be clear, I'd like to see abuse that the caregiver experiences be addressed on another call. LOL. We need Caregiver Abuse Educators/Supporters as job titles and job functions.
12:54:50 From Margie Lidoff to Hosts and panelists : This is a great presentation. Thanks for it and for your supportive comments to me. Margie
12:56:18 From Arlene Polangin : What's the GET| SET UP website
12:56:35 From Carol Marak : Welcome to Solo and Smart. I’m Carol Marak, please contact me Carol@CarolMarak.com if you have questions. Here’s a link to my book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Carol--L.-Marak/e/B09TBFT9QY
12:56:56 From Elaine C. : @Arlene, I just googled it, I think it is www.getsetup.io - ? ????
12:56:57 From Carol Marak : Thank you all for joining the conversation.
12:57:08 From Patricia Cresta Savage : Thank you it is great to speak to others in similar situations.
12:57:16 From Elaine C. : Thank you so much Carol and Steve.
12:57:28 From Rebecca Wild-Wesley : @Elaine C: using the care manager data base is free of charge; my sentence implied that there is a fee to search the data base. Sorry! aginglifecare.org
12:57:53 From eric weiss : thanks for the meeting
12:57:58 From Arlene Polangin : thanks Elaine
12:57:59 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Thank you both SO much. This is my first time on this platform but it won't be my last. Wow! Just Wow! You guys rock!!!! LOL. Such important work. Thank you so much for using your passions for purpose. You're very inspiring to me!
12:58:03 From Monna Lang to Hosts and panelists : Thank you so much! Friendships of Reciprocity; Amen!
12:58:27 From Arlene Polangin : how do we get the bookk?
12:58:28 From Edwin Smith : For anyone who may be interested, I happened to have a session on getsetup.io today at 4:30 Pacific time on the topic of Livable Communities and Aging in Place. See www.getsetup.io/classes/embracing-elderhood/4tNF-hTFQ
12:58:45 From Wendy Pachter : Carole, I eat as you do (Dr Fuhrman minus some foods).
12:59:18 From Roberta Brooks : Carol , thank you for your book. Carol and Steve , thank you for your talk today. Thanks to everyone also for all the helpful links in the chat,
12:59:37 From Carole Klawansky : Wendy, I'm 100% Nutritarian. Where are you?
12:59:52 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : The fact that I have felt SEEN today is just enormous for me. Thank you both and all here on the chat.
12:59:56 From Wendy Pachter : Same plus food sensitivities
13:00:38 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : GetSetUp is an online community of people who want to learn new skills, connect with others and unlock new life experiences. We believe older adults can do anything when they have the tools to discover, learn and connect. https://www.getsetup.io/
13:02:08 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Wow! Carole that's awesome!
13:02:16 From Sonande Shah : Thank you!!!
13:02:19 From Natalie Doyle to Hosts and panelists : Have you ever done a program on Neighborhood Villages? I joined the Arlington Neighborhood Village around 18 months ago and they were vital to me during covid.
13:02:24 From Rebecca Wild-Wesley : Thank you. this has been great!
13:02:46 From Carole Klawansky : Wendy, I'm in MD, Are you local?
13:02:56 From Wendy Pachter : DC
13:03:24 From Carole Klawansky : How can I get in touch with you Wendy?
13:04:13 From Wendy Pachter : May e through Steve? Not comfortable w/sharing more on public transcript
13:04:24 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : Sending lots of hugs to ERic
13:05:09 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : I try to find the funny in my day every day
13:05:10 From Carole Klawansky : I will try that.
13:05:40 From Carol Marak : Carol Marak Carol@CarolMarak.com
13:05:46 From Carole Klawansky : Wendy, are you a member on Dr. Fuhrman's website?
13:06:07 From Carol Marak : Here’s a link to my book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Carol--L.-Marak/e/B09TBFT9QY
13:06:10 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : https://carolmarak.com/index.html
13:06:30 From Wendy Pachter : No but the office has my info bcz I order from them and have been to the office for consults
13:06:32 From Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : BUY SOLO AND SMART https://carolmarak.com/solo-and-smart-book.html
13:07:11 From Carole Klawansky : Wendy, they won't share that information. Are you on any of the Nutritarian Facebook groups?
13:08:55 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : OMG we need for parents like you, LOL. That's what I'm learning is by observing and living my parent's mess, I'm adapting my next stage life plans so as not to leave my adult children what I've had to inherit (yes, it's a choice but not much of a choice when no one else can step up).
13:10:42 From Jacke Schroeder : Thanks for a terrific conversation! Steve, I remember you previously reached out to me to talk about elder abuse. I'd be happy to do that sometime after June is over. :-)jschroeder@associated.org
13:12:27 From Jacke Schroeder : I need to hop off now. Thanks again Carol for dedicating so much to creating your book, an essential guide that I look forward to reading. Have a great day and stay well everyone!
13:13:47 From Anne-Marie Tywonek : The USA is light years ahead of Canada on resources
13:14:23 From Audrey Kremer : Maybe but Canada assisted living options are much cheaper--more govt funding
13:14:36 From Carole Klawansky : Excellent meeting!
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