Positive Aging SourceBook
Posted by Positive Aging SourceBook on 03/02/2022

Solo Aging Discussion with Joy Loverde, author of Who Will Take Care Of Me When I’m Old?


Joy Loverde has a reputation for being a path carver and visionary. Joy is the author of the "Who Will Take Care Of Me When I’m Old?" and "The Complete Eldercare Planner." The American Medical Association says, “It’s the best book we’ve seen.” Co-hosted by Carol Marak author of Solo and Smart.

Link to Podcast

Chat Transcript

solo aging chat.txt

12:12:17     From  Jenna Jones : Hello everyone - Solo Agers looking for ways to enjoy life long learning can connect with Smithsonian Associates. I'm their Volunteer Coordinator and some of our best volunteers are solo agers! Join us! https://smithsonianassociates.org/ticketing/volunteer/

12:12:33     From  Bonnie Silverman : Hello, this is Bonnie Silverman, president of Silverman Insurance Services - bonnie@silvermaninsure.com 215-922-3544 with 30+ years of experience insurance, aging, and long term care. I do care!

12:13:21     From  Jenna Jones : oops! My name is Jenna Jones, CVA, Volunteer Coordinator for Smithsonian Associates

https://smithsonianassociates.org/ticketing/

12:14:22     From  Jason Scadron : Hi everyone. I'm Jason Scadron, Village Coordinator for Fairfax Village in the City (Fairfax, VA)

12:14:46     From  Stephanie Martirani : Hello everyone! I'm Stephanie Martirani, independent patient advocate, 25 mi east of San Francisco.  

  • Stephanie Martirani, BCPA
  • Board Certified Patient Advocate & Aging Ally
  • Age Smart Advocates, LLC
  • Voice/Text 925-471-6060
  • Stephanie@AgeSmartAdvocates.com
  • https://AgeSmartAdvocates.com

12:14:46     From  Meryl Schaffer : Meryl Schaffer TLC Daily Money Mentor, LLC 240-338-3332(cell phone)  Meryl@TLCDailyMOneyMentor.com  www.TLCDailyMoneyMentor.cam.  I take away the agony & frustration from those who will not and/or have any interest in taking care of their day to day finances.  Please remember that Meryl will keep you out of peril & Schaffer will keep your records safer.

12:14:59     From  SHARON HOST : Hi all, I'm Sharon Host. An occupational therapist specializing in Memory Care and soon to be retiree. So excited to learn about this!

12:16:04     From  Margaret Newman : Hello, I am Margaret Newman, Ex Director with Friendship Heights Neighbors Network, a Village in Montgomery County.

12:16:42     From  Joe Sperling : Solo Agers need to protect their options for care,

Through preparation and planning!

Learn about Long-Term Care coverage.

  • Joe Sperling, Protectionist
  • Independent insurance broker for over 30 years.
  • Phone:  301-980-8869
  • Email: joe@joesperlinginsurance.com

Do so while you can, Before the need for care happens. Feel GREAT by putting plans in place.

12:17:52     From  Jane Eleey : Hello,  This is Jane Eleey, Executive Director of Penn's Village in Philadelphia, PA

12:18:52     From  Melissa Bressler : Melissa Bressler, Outreach Manager of HandyPro of Washington DC Metropolitan / Licensed Occupational Therapist / Mother & Caregiver / Melissa@handypro.com / 301-960-9830 / Proving safe and accessible homes through environmental modifications regardless of age or disability. Planning ahead is the key to unlocking the door on aging well.

12:19:13     From  Vanessa Ripps : Vanessa Ripps Director of Volunteer Services, Silver Spring Village.

12:21:48     From  Joe Sperling : Making decisions in a panic are usually not good  ones.  Stress and pressure is  not conducive to best decisions.

12:21:54     From  Rita Sherman : my question: how can I network and meet other people my age and other ages so I might create my own circle of friends who can help each other or help with resources?

12:22:25     From  faith drummond : I certainly understand the need to think critically.  However, there is m much in life we can’t control:  termination from our job at age 55, serious illness at age 63, etc.

12:22:51     From  Meryl Schaffer : All these concepts are SSSOOO true when it comes to managing finances.

12:22:54     From  Andrea Brown : Are your books available at the Loudoun county libraries?

12:23:48     From  AnnMarie Riehl : @ Faith - I am trying to get a circle started within Baltimore County through the Department of Aging. Reach out to your local Aging Services Office.

12:25:49     From  Joe Sperling : Excellent point Joy!  Look inward before looking outward!

12:25:58     From  Rita Sherman : more specifically, does THIS GROUP have a way to meet each other in person, especially with COVID.

12:26:14     From  Rita Sherman : is this group doing anything in person?

12:26:49     From  Jenna Jones : Agree that friendships echo what you put into them. As someone who doesn't have kids, my dearest friends have become like family to me. And my husband and I reached out to the young family across the street and they've been in our "pod" during Covid. We help each other and have become close.

12:26:50     From  Michael Yublosky : My wife and Judy actually stated a local senior adults group in our area in 2017. We went to the park district who still sponsors us. We have been on Zoom for two years and just today I spoke with their IT person about dual meetings. We do socials, lunches, outings, volunteer, provide COVID supplies, education, etc. http://sagesofbg.wordpress.com

12:27:38     From  Lisa Cook : I am a great friend to have - I give friends rides to and from the airport, hospital etc. While it's easy to go to Meetups and meet people, I think it's very hard to find people who want to commit to having others' backs. I've been building community for 11 years.

12:27:48     From  sara sheets   to   Hosts and panelists : I am host for a group supporting people Living Solo to develop relationships that people can count on when they need someone in their corner.  It is an out growth of the Organization Villages N.W.  The Villages movement started in Boston  and is available nationwide.  It is for helping people stay in their homes as long as possible and for social interactions.

12:30:13     From  Audra Backaitis : True....but it takes a friend to be a friend

12:30:26     From  Teri Glaspy : Asking for help is much harder than receiving sometimes, but it shows others we have vulnerabilities too!  This tends to build strong friendships.

12:31:04     From  Aileen Klein : thank you for having both zoom and live events in the future!!  Thank you also for recognizing that  even though we fully intend to watch your zooms. Sometimes, we get interrupted, and by you sending links to past events is really wonder.

12:31:04     From  Roseann Sellani   to   Hosts and panelists : Isn’t the bottom line finding someone younger who will agree to advocate for you when you can’t for yourself?

12:31:10     From  Wendy Kuhn : Wendy Kuhn, wendy@naborforce.com.   Naborforce provides companionship for aging adults - there is no reason to be SOLO!  Our Nabor visits help, combat loneliness and provide assistance with transportation, errands , meal prep and exchange in meaningful conversations, forging special relationships!

12:31:16     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Here are the previous discussions on Solo Aging https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos?q=solo+aging

12:31:23     From  Bonnie Silverman : I am also a member of The Transition Network in Philadelphia, PA (TTN). it is a wonderful women's group.

12:32:18     From  Miriam Zucker   to   Hosts and panelists : Micki Zucker, Geriatric Care Manager, New Rochelle, New York, www.directionsinaging.com. Had a call from a well woman whose husband was her POA. He now has dementia. She needed advice about who she could turn to take over that role. Her attorney and friends have turned down her request, no children. Any thoughts?

12:32:29     From  ann johnson : Joy,  you are so spot on!!!!

12:32:47     From  Kelly Miller   to   Hosts and panelists : You can usually tell from the outside when a household is in that place

12:32:50     From  D. Schafer   to   Hosts and panelists : How can I connect directly/privately with someone who just commented?

12:33:40     From  Patti Hutton : Aging in place looks different for everyone. Aging in a structured community, e.g. Life Plan Communities, can also be a way to Age in Place.

12:33:50     From  Carol Marak, SOLO AND SMART, Dallas   to   D. Schafer and all panelists : Switch your chat to private question with that person

12:33:58     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Jennifer Brown 12:33 PM 

Aging Life Care Managers are solo aging consultants

12:34:14     From  Bonnie Silverman : There are Geriatric Care Managers

12:34:25     From  AnnMarie Riehl : Aging Life Care Managers would be excellent in this role - find one in your area www.aginglifecare.org. They LOVE planners!

12:34:28     From  martin Marty : What are life plan communities?

12:34:35     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Jennifer Brown 12:34 PM 

Care Managers are advocates, advisors and consultants

12:34:35     From  Jennifer FitzGerald   to   Hosts and panelists : I inadvertently raised my hand. Please ignore that. :)

12:34:38     From  D. Schafer   to   Hosts and panelists : Carol...it does not offer this option.

12:34:39     From  Clareen Heikal : I am with Cheverly Village in Maryland and Aging Alone is one of the hardest living situations to deal with.  The Village becomes their support and rescue system.

12:34:50     From  Valoria Walker   to   Hosts and panelists : Valoria Walker. www.Doulabydestiny.com End of life Doula supporting Aging soloist

12:34:59     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Valoria Walker to All Panelists 12:34 PM

Valoria Walker. www.Doulabydestiny.com End of life Doula supporting Aging soloist

12:35:06     From  Martha Cooper   to   Hosts and panelists : A friend called that role an aging doula

12:35:17     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : From Martha Cooper to All Panelists 12:35 PM

A friend called that role an aging doula

12:35:17     From  Joe Sperling : THANK YOU JOY!

12:35:57     From  D. Schafer   to   Hosts and panelists : Bonnie...how can I connect with you directly?

12:36:22     From  sara sheets   to   Hosts and panelists : Again what you are talking about is what is being done by the Village movement

12:36:24     From  Jane Eleey : Geriatric Care Managers do consulting too and can be very helpful in planning

12:36:53     From  Tiffani Brooks : how do you become an aging life care consultant?

12:37:16     From  Miriam Zucker   to   Hosts and panelists : Any role AARP taking in this issue of solo aging?

12:37:18     From  AnnMarie Riehl : @tiffanie - go on their website and find a local office to learn more

12:38:02     From  Tiffani Brooks : will do @annmarie

12:38:16     From  Stephanie Martirani : I am a patient/healthcare advocate, but I named my business Age Smart Advocates as I say my job is to support aging well, whatever that means for each individual.

12:38:22     From  darci Beacom : Village to Village Network is a great resource to help locate a Village in your area. Or if your area is looking to start a Village, V2V is a terrific resource. The focus of Villages is to help people age in their own homes/communities through volunteer services. https://www.vtvnetwork.org/content.aspx?page_id=0&club_id=691012

12:38:38     From  SHARON HOST : There is a national movement called Dementia Friendly America to help with this.

12:38:41     From  Jeanne Hartnett : partners in care provides this service. grant funded,/boutique members use bartering/points to share skills. Background checks and matching interests. Courses on computers, smart phones etc..

12:39:17     From  Jeanne Hartnett : PNC in Maryland l am a cognitive coach jeannehartnett@gmail.com

12:39:25     From  Renee Jefferson : Steve, what community? I'm in MD.

12:39:25     From  Carol Marak, SOLO AND SMART, Dallas   to   Jeanne Hartnett and all panelists : What’s the name of your business?

12:39:56     From  noel white : Baltimore County now has a Dementia Friendly

12:40:40     From  Renee Jefferson : I just googled saw that after I Googled, thanks, Noel.

12:40:57     From  noel white : Here is the info on the Baltimore County, MD Dementia Friendly program.  

  • Emily Kearns
  • Dementia Friendly Coordinator
  • Dementia Friendly Baltimore County
  • Baltimore County Department of Aging, Caregivers Program
  • 611 Central Avenue  ~  Towson, MD 21204
  • Office Phone: 410-887-4751/ Cell Phone: 978-604-0830

12:41:35     From  noel white : You are welcome Renee!

12:41:47     From  Elva Roy : I have hosted a Death Café and also Death Over Dinner in order to provide information and education about death and end-of-life information. I serve on the Board of Directors of Funeral Consumers Alliance of North Texas (non-profit).

12:42:02     From  Valoria Walker   to   Hosts and panelists : As an end of life doula I offered free consultation for those who are aging solo to help plan and prepare while they still can.

12:42:06     From  Madeline Carroll   to   Hosts and panelists : Can you please speak about considerations regarding continuing care retirement communities.

12:43:21     From  Susan Evans   to   Hosts and panelists : Thank you Steve.

12:43:38     From  bob hoffman   to   Hosts and panelists : who can suggest the most creative and interesting “life care communities” in the DC area

12:43:56     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : discussion on the legal and financial implications of solo aging https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos/the-legal-implications-of-solo-aging

12:44:17     From  Cedar Dvorin : Yes to having an attorney's office be a trustee- or at least the last one if those we appoint are not longer available.

12:44:19     From  Miriam Jacobson : Miriam Jacobson, retired estate planning attorney in Philadelphia PA - end of life planning leaves a lot to be desired because US law doesn't allow a lot for those of us who don't want to go through a long slow undignified death. There is an org "Death with Dignity", but it doesn't quite get us there. The NYT or Atlantic had a very recent article about a Swiss org, Dignitas that does provide death services. Not for everyone, though.

12:44:40     From  Terri Hansen : My concern with a company is that you want to make sure your true wishes are addressed.  Not just the medical decisions.  Having multiple individuals who know you and care for you is preferable.

12:45:04     From  noel white : Joy, you mentioned the spiritual side of life. I have found that at our church, there is a nice organically formed community for folks.  I mention this as it may be a source to make friends.

12:45:17     From  Judy Fisher : People you are addressing have money.  I'm aging solo on SS and a small pension. any suggestions

12:45:28     From  Bonnie Silverman : I agree with having multiple individuals, in order of priority

12:46:20     From  Marie Simpson : As a retired nurse who is now a Senior Real Estate Specialist in Anne Arundel County, the resources are often available, it is where to find them.  Give me a call if you need housing info or assistance in selling your forever home that can often be a burden.  Marie Simpson, 410-703-3294, Annapolis Eastport, Long and Foster.

12:46:38     From  AnnMarie Riehl : Yes, the local Area Agency on Aging has resources/volunteers.

12:46:58     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Financial and legal implications https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos/the-legal-implications-of-solo-aging

12:47:19     From  Suzanne Legault : Steve, I'd like to cut-and-paste the chat to save it. Is it possible to do this on Zoom? Perhaps enable it in the setiings?  Thanks to all for this fantastic program.

12:47:32     From  pat charoni   to   Hosts and panelists : I am unable to copy anything for this chat - will it be available afterwards?

12:47:50     From  pat charoni   to   Hosts and panelists : from all these chats - can't copy

12:47:56     From  Stephanie Martirani : Suzanne, I'm glad you asked, because I don't see the "..." that usually allows saving a chat.

12:48:07     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Welcome to the Eldercare Locator, a public service of the U.S. Administration on Aging connecting you to services for older adults and their families. You can also reach us at 1-800-677-1116.  https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Index.aspx

12:48:40     From  Terri Hansen : Eldercare Locator will generally refer you to your local Area Agency on Aging  which is the local resource for information and resources for older adults, persons with disabilities and their caregivers.

12:49:04     From  SHARON HOST : Joy I have your book and LOVE how many resources you share. I have bookmarked them all!

12:50:10     From  Gail Crockett   to   Hosts and panelists : Seniorplanet.org has free tech help through OATS and lots of free webinars. Yesterday it was about library resources. The Denver library has librarians for the senior population.

12:51:44     From  Bonnie Silverman : Does anyone know of or live in high rise apartment/condominium that has formed a "care giving group"? Would love to hear about this.

12:51:53     From  steve jefferys   to   Hosts and panelists : Solo aging is easier with a holistic fee-only financial planner. Some tasks that I have worked on this past year with clients: review tax returns for accuracy, help fill out RMD QCD forms, help with I Bond application and purchase, rebalanced portfolio to maintain risk tolerance, recommend freezing credit reports. Arch Financial Advisors www.archfinancialadvisors.com 301-500-2079. Steve Jefferys

12:52:27     From  Jenna Jones   to   Hosts and panelists : Hey Steve - I'd like to follow up with you. WAMU's Community Council would like to meet with you to talk about stories that the station should cover about aging issues for the local listeners. :-) I am a member of the Community Council and there is interest in this

12:53:17     From  Patti Hutton   to   Hosts and panelists : Joy, It has been a long time, it's great to see you again!

12:53:26     From  Leigh Penfield : You can also save a copy of the transcript for the session, right?

12:54:04     From  bob hoffman   to   Hosts and panelists : Does anyone know of creative and interesting life care communities in DC area

12:54:08     From  Bonnie Silverman : Can I  speak??

12:54:12     From  AnnMarie Riehl : If anyone is in the Baltimore County area and wants to form a group please reach out to me and I will initiate a gathering.  ariehl1@umbc.edu

12:55:34     From  Carole Klawansky : I'm in Howard County.  Anyone else here is my area?

12:55:50     From  Patti Hutton   to   Hosts and panelists : Great presentation and I love the topic. I am the Director of Marketing for a Life Plan community in Columbia, MD. , I'm interested in hosting a program about Solo Aging at my community. I would love to catch up with Joy and Carol following this presentation. you can reach me at huttonp@vantagepointresidences.org or 410-992-1075. Fabulous topic and excellent information.

12:56:15     From  SHARON HOST : Anyone on from the South? Would love to join a group in Birmingham, AL

12:56:33     From  Margaret Newman : Our Village is comprised of 7 large rental and condo buildings - a real NORC community.  We function as a "care giving group"

12:57:25     From  Renee Jefferson : I'm in Howard County too

12:57:27     From  Margaret Newman : Our Village is Friendship Heights  Neighbors Network on the border of DC but located in DC

12:57:34     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Joy Loverde, author of

  • Who Will Take Care Of Me When I’m Old?
  • The Complete Eldercare Planner
  • Email           jloverde@elderindustry.com
  • Website      elderindustry.com
  • LinkedIn     linkedin.com/in/joyloverde

12:58:12     From  Madeline Carroll   to   Hosts and panelists : What is name of community in Philadelphia just mentioned by attendee?

12:58:41     From  Carole Klawansky : Renee, I'd like to chat more.

12:59:07     From  Renee Jefferson : Please reach out is anyone is interested in continuing this conversation, jeffersonr@vantagepointresidences.org

12:59:29     From  Lisa Cook : In my spare time, I have a Facebook community called Plan B Connections and did a TED talk called Living Alone Living Connected - my target group is pre-retirees in their 50s in case anyone is interested in connecting over this. I think it's important to work on this as early as possible. If there is a 55+ community with pre-retirees still working, please let me know.

13:00:01     From  D. Schafer : Lisa...what is the FB address for your group?

13:00:18     From  Carole Klawansky : Renee, I'm at Watermark Place.

13:01:23     From  Renee Jefferson : I'm a social worker at vantage point

13:01:25     From  Risa Mandell   to   Hosts and panelists : is this scheduled for 60 or 90minutes please?

13:01:30     From  vivian Sheliga : Great group; very informative

13:01:48     From  Lisa Cook : D. Schafer - please Google PlanBConnections.com, it links to my Facebook group. It's all volunteer work. Thanks.

13:02:02     From  D. Schafer : Thanks Lisa...will do.

13:02:58     From  sara sheets   to   Hosts and panelists : Villages NW would be a good resource to contact if you want to know about making connections to develop community.  It is a part of the Villages Movement that started in Boston but is a nationwide program.  Sara Sheets host of Living Solo

13:02:59     From  Susan Evans   to   Hosts and panelists : I live in a nice mixed income apartment building.  I met a woman two doors down who has no family here, no car. I befriended her and help take her to doctors appointments, managing many things. Anyone can do this. Speak out, say hello to elders who live near you. We all can form ad-hoc elder care groups.

13:03:07     From  Risa Mandell   to   Hosts and panelists : Carol was going to say something

13:03:23     From  Kitty Zuckerman : Thanks so much...this was great!

13:03:32     From  Renee Jefferson : very ineresting

13:03:50     From  D. Schafer : Thank you. Hope you do this again.

13:03:54     From  Risa Mandell   to   Hosts and panelists : many thanks - with appreciation????????????

13:04:10     From  Gail Crockett   to   Hosts and panelists : This was awesome. I’m on my IPad and sadly can’t seem to download the chat.

13:04:11     From  Carole Klawansky : Can you upload the chat?

13:04:13     From  Jeanne Smith : What about a community bulletin board on your site, Steve

13:04:25     From  Risa Mandell : many thanks, Everyone!????????????

13:04:43     From  DONNA FREDERICKS   to   Hosts and panelists : Thank you Steve. This is Donna Fredericks. I spoke with you last week.  Great talk

13:04:49     From  Susan Evans   to   Hosts and panelists : Thanks for this webinar.  I listened while painting for my gallery. 

13:04:55     From  Jeanne Smith : lol

13:05:07     From  pat charoni   to   Hosts and panelists : This was awesome thanks!????

13:05:09     From  Risa Mandell   to   Hosts and panelists : Thank you, Steve!  for explaining DMV!

13:05:24     From  Leigh Penfield : listserver for future sessions?

13:05:44     From  Kenneth Reichardt : Should be DDMV - DC, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia

13:06:03     From  Miriam Zucker : Thanks, you have expanded the concept of “solo aging.” A person “is” or “may become.”

13:06:10     From  Karen Dotson : Should be DMV&WV - lol

13:06:26     From  Jeanne Hartnett : thanks Steve, great discussion critical thinking is 1 of 5 areas of cognition. Fit Minds jeannehartnett@gmail.com

13:06:28     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Sourcebook : Solo and Smart https://carolmarak.com/solo-and-smart-book.html

13:06:31     From  Risa Mandell : Congratulations, Carol!

13:06:35     From  Margaret Newman : Look at The Blue Zones book to see more about aging secrets in other cultures.

13:06:52     From  Ann Sklar : This session was very helpful - thanks to all!

13:06:53     From  Meryl Schaffer : How uplifting this is for everybody!!!

13:07:00     From  Bonnie Silverman : Thank you!!

13:07:01     From  Jeanne Smith : Thanks everyone

13:07:06     From  Patti Hutton : Great discussion! very thought provoking!

13:07:08     From  Risa Mandell : Great vitality and engagment!

13:07:09     From  Paula Osborne : Thanks!

13:07:20     From  Carole Klawansky : Thanks.  Lots of resources!

13:07:24     From  Marie Simpson : Thanks to everyone, very great ideas. 

13:08:15     From  Margaret Newman : Great Program about good resource book and look forward to the next one.

13:08:46     From  sara sheets   to   Hosts and panelists : To build relationships you really need to have ongoing contact over time.







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