The Force of Friendship

Vicky Diamond and Betty Jane (“BJ”) Rafferty went from next door neighbors to fast friends when they met at Modena Reserve at Kensington, a senior living community in Kensington, MD. Vicky Diamond was lonely. Betty Jane (“BJ”) Rafferty just wanted to go home. When they met each other, everything changed. Vicky and BJ went from next door neighbors to fast friends. Now they lunch together, chat together, and look out for each other. They feel cared for and needed—everyone needs that.

Both Vicky and BJ are residents of Modena Reserve at Kensington, a senior living community in Kensington, MD, managed by Solera Senior Living. Solera’s mission is to elevate senior living by delivering personalized service, engaging programs, and best-in-class amenities. Modena offers extraordinary independent living, assisted living, and memory care on one campus. Residents enjoy exemplary service in an elegant and welcoming environment. Families gain peace of mind knowing that their loved ones are cared for by qualified staff and can transition to higher levels of care if needed. 

While the services and amenities at Modena were an enormous draw for both the Diamond and Rafferty families, the transition to senior living was challenging. It is not uncommon for new residents to struggle with leaving long-time homes and familiar neighborhoods. Making new friends can help residents navigate the transition. 

An Organic Meeting

When BJ moved in across the hall from Vicky, the families met briefly. When the women later connected through organic interactions, they hit it off. Neither Vicky nor BJ expected to meet a new best friend at this phase of their life, but they now see the immense power of friendship—to help, to heal, and to hearten. 

Prior to moving to Modena, Vicky lived in Silver Spring, MD. Vicky and her husband, Larry, raised three kids in the neighborhood. Larry was in the real estate business, and Vicky worked for 25 years as a personal shopper at Saks Fifth Avenue. She also did a lot of philanthropic work with the Smithsonian. After Larry passed away, Vicky lived alone for decades. Unfortunately, last year, she suffered a terrible fall that had some lasting consequences.

“At first we had around-the-clock care in her apartment in Bethesda, but we knew that would be unsustainable,” explained Vicky’s son, Brett Diamond. “We started to look around, and we found Modena right in the neighborhood. As soon as we walked in, we thought this was really nice. It is bright, fresh, and brand new.”

Downsizing and moving was a challenge for Vicky, but her family, including son Brett Diamond, remained positive and sympathetic. They were thankful when a new friendship helped Vicky feel more at home.The downsizing and moving process proved to be difficult for Vicky and her family. “When mom first moved in, it was a struggle,” Brett said. “It was scary for mom, and she was suffering. We just needed to see a smile on her face. We had to adjust some of her medications, and that helped. But the real shot in the arm was meeting BJ.”

A few months after Vicky moved in, BJ relocated to Modena. Now the two women are near-constant companions. “If you see Vicky, you see BJ—and vice versa. They check on each other, and they motivate each other to do things and to participate in the activities. Together, they are enjoying the lifestyle we offer here,” noted Janet Bradley, Executive Director of Modena Reserve. 

A Mutually Beneficial Relationship

Vicky’s family started to notice a change in her demeanor. “I remember telling my sister that things were changing for the better,” Brett recalled. “We noticed that mom’s mood improved, and her attitude was better, and that was around the time she and BJ started lunching together every day.”

BJ’s son, Patrick Rafferty, agreed that this friendship has had a positive impact on both women. “My mom didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave her house, and she was very unhappy at first,” he recalled. “When she became friends with Vicky, it gave her a sense of purpose. They even leave their doors cracked, so they can just walk into each other’s apartments. It is like they are in college.”

Recently, BJ was experiencing a health problem. When Patrick went to visit her, he found Vicky by her bedside, holding her hand and supporting her. “That’s what it’s all about. It gives them both a sense of purpose to care about another human being and to be supported by each other.”

Beyond feeling a sense of purpose, having a friend has made Vicky feel safer. Brett noted that she is calling her family less in the middle of the night. The staff also noticed she is using her emergency call button far less. Having a friend right across the hall that she can call on anytime gives Vicky a sense of comfort.

Friendship is powerful. Friends can make you laugh, hold your hand, and help you heal. The love of a friend holds immense potential—and untapped power. For BJ and Vicky, the force of their friendship is evident every day in their smiles, interactions, and caring gestures, proving you are never too old to meet a new best friend!