Caregiving is Different for Solo Agers. Are you ready?

Join us for a live and interactive discussion with a best-selling author on family caregiving and the just-released 4th edition of THE COMPLETE ELDERCARE PLANNER. 

Joy Loverde, author of Who Will Take Care Of Me When I’m Old? & The Complete Eldercare Planner, Revised & Updated 4^th Edition

• Email            jloverde@elderindustry.com
• Website      https://elderindustry.com  
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Powerpoint Presentation Caregiving is different for Solo Agers. Are you ready.pptx.pdf

Questions Asked

• How do you respond when loved ones expect you to step in to be a caregiver because you are solo?
• I'm in my mid-50s and I'm in a solo aging discussion group.  We are listening to presentations from caregiving businesses, trust companies, fiduciaries, etc. and besides the great expense, I'm also concerned that many of these businesses may not be around when I am more likely to need them (my 70s or older).  They also don't seem to have much in succession planning of who will take over the clients 20 or more years later.  Your suggestions for businesses for these subjects who will be around longer than 20 years?
• I am working through the very complete End of Life WA  advanced directives forms (they also cover dementia) and I'm finding it not only emotionally exhausting, but I also don't have the medical knowledge to check the boxes confidently (and I want to make informed decisions regarding these very important choices).  Where can I find free help or low cost help to work through these Advanced Directive forms for me to make informed decisions?  My health plan, Kaiser, is not offering help neither is End of Life WA (beyond providing the forms).
• How can you help when they do not want to be helped or accept any help? Specially when not in the same country?
• You skipped over the chapter on MONEY. Please discuss this is crucial....tips are welcome
• How to take care of yourself while taking care of others?
• "So what is your plan for all the people you named and listed who you are expected to care for? Any resources to stabilize a plan for now and the future?
• Did any participants in the solo agers groups have plans and ideas for how they will be cared for?
• Where did you find your solo aging discussion group
• Do you need a CPA if you already have a tax preparer who is a CPA?
• How do we find good solo agers support groups online and or in person?
• I haven't found anyone in their 50s who is looking at this of solo aging and not having someone to step in and take care of themselves (all of them have kids in terms of my friends).  There are a few people I know as acquantances in their 70s who are starting discussions on this, but a challenge for me is if I agree to help them it is very unlikely for them to be there for me (because of the age difference).  So the reciprocation is lacking and yet I don't see folks in their 40s and 50s taking this on.  Many of those in 40s and 50s are also overwhelmed with families in addition to their careers. I feel stuck on this.
• What is liability risk for care-givers?
• "naturally occurring retirement communityN O R C...HOUSING AND WHERE YOU LIVE IS THE FIRST STEP IN PLANNING
•  Based on how life has changed how do we get relationships back on track now that life has changed and requires many caregiving plans for many people?"
• We're caregiving for our parents who live in a country where there is no a sense of community and the seniors community doesn't exists at all? All of their children live in other countries...
• Any suggestions for the best way to select long term care insurance?
• "Where and how are the books available?
• What resources do you provide workshops, speaker, consultations?"
• "Could you expand upon what you said about changes in year 2026 and changes in year 2030 and differences between year 2009 and now and reason for updating your book?
• Have had difficultly finding a NORC when investigating numerous cities to consider for  relocation
• I think its critical to consider what happens when you put off making a plan. I share frequently about the “event” that will take away all the chocies and options you have now. A fall, broken hip, dementia, etc.  Someone will step in if you are unable to makw decisions or move yourself. And genrally, youre not going to necessarily lie or agree with the decisions. Make a plan now……..:)

Chat Transcript

12:09:02     From  Christine Smith : Cheering YOU on today, Joy!! Christine A. Smith, #AgingEnthusiast!

12:10:34     From  Patti Hutton : Hello Joy! so happy you're presenting this information today. We'd love to have you back to Residences at Vantage Point! Patti Hutton, Director of Marketing, Residences at Vantage Point, Columbia, MD 410-992-1075

12:10:53     From  veda vazquez : Good Day, this is Veda Vazquez from Coatesville, pa VA. missed being here ????

12:12:24     From  Jenny Pearson : Good afternoon! Jenny Pearson with DC Relay 610-209-3207 jenny.pearson@hamiltonrelay.com

12:12:55     From  Adele Logan-Galen : Good afternoon everyone!  This is Adele from Smooth Move Managers, 571-230-5702, Adele@smoothmovemanagers.com.

12:13:16     From  Beverly Rollins : I hope you will discuss who will take care of the solo ager...

12:14:00     From  Joe Sperling : Everyone should plan for care, and get Long-Term Care insurance of some sort, but ESPECIALLY solo-agers!

12:14:57     From  Deborah Zuckerman : Let Joy speak

12:15:57     From  Michelle Nowak   to   Hosts and panelists : @Joe I completely agree with LTC insurance. The insurance isn’t always enough to help. Someone still has to search for and secure the appropriate caregiver. Many times y the time we draw on our LTC we may not have the capacity to make those decisions.

12:19:03     From  Michelle Nowak   to   Hosts and panelists : Board Certified Patient Advocate here, thank you for addressing advocacy as an option. Advocates don’t necessarily provide hands on care but can direct and guide you to identify care needs and help you find the resources.

12:19:50     From  Deborah Zuckerman : What about "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old," as opposed to me as a caregiver?

12:20:12     From  nancy Hutter : Amen....who will take care of me??

12:20:50     From  Ellen Brody : We have been on the call for 25 minutes and you have not addressed solo aging.  Stop selling the Eldercare Planner and help those of us who want to know how to manage Aging Solo.

12:23:00     From  Catherine Freedberg   to   Hosts and panelists : Need examples pls of  what to do on either end (self or other) “being caught off guard. “

12:23:08     From  Ailene Gerhardt : Both "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old, and Joy's revised Complete Eldercare Planner has excellent resources for solo agers. As a patient advocate, solo aging educator and founder of NavigatingSolo.com, I highly recommend both books for those navigating solo aging.

12:23:28     From  Judah Rosner : Please, folks. Be respectful of Steve & Joy. They are doing this for a wide audience & bringing to bear their wide experience. Be patient.

12:24:14     From  Liz Tupper   to   Hosts and panelists : Do you have specific suggestions for how to get a patient advocate in place for a solo ager who is unable to advocate for themselves.

12:24:23     From  Kathryn W : For those looking for some aging help, check to see if you have a "Village" in your area.  You usually pay an annual fee and tend to have volunteers to help you with lighter tasks you may have trouble with -- for example, changing a light bulb, raking leaves, getting to medical appointments.

12:24:38     From  Peggy Siegel : Do you plan to cover Joy's other book entitled "Who will take care of me when I'm old?"

12:24:44     From  Denise Scott : practical information would be most beneficial.  this conversation isn't meeting my needs

12:25:15     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Here is a link to Joy's books https://elderindustry.com/books/

12:27:08     From  Kathryn W : While important information, I was expecting information to be presented associated with being a solo ager vs. being a caregiver.

12:27:50     From  Antoinette Jeffries   to   Hosts and panelists : Please, can we talk about who will take care of me? This is too focused on care GIVING.

12:29:23     From  Kathryn W : A problem with cannabis or pot smoking or vaping is if you share any walls with the person using it, the horrible smell gets into your living space through the buildings ventilation systems, open windows, etc.  I'm allergic to it and it is impacting my health.  This really needs to be addressed throughout the USA.

12:32:06     From  Sharon Crowell : Yes Kathryn, There is an organization called Love Living at home in Ithaca that is all about community support for seniors - picking up medicine, rides to doctors', picking up groceries, etc.

12:32:19     From  Carmen Delgado : How can you help when they do not want to be helped or accept any help? Specially when not in the same country?

12:33:02     From  Antoinette Jeffries   to   Hosts and panelists : SOLO AGING - WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF ME? That was the advertised topic of discussion. When will we get to that?

12:33:08     From  Sharon Crowell : Agree would like more info on being a solo ager.

12:34:44     From  Edith Harriet   to   Hosts and panelists : how do we find an independent patient advocate???

12:35:11     From  Kathryn W : More and more people are feeling like they only have one or maybe no people to rely upon for emergency contacts.  This increases for those with no children, no spouse, no or elderly siblings, and are not friends with neighbors (like in many cities).  I suspect this also parallels the rise in epidemic loneliness in the USA.  What do you tell people who have no emergency contacts to do about the emergency contact situation?

12:35:50     From  Louis Tenenbaum   to   Hosts and panelists : Preserving the choice to stay put should include planning in advance of health crisis.

12:36:35     From  Kathryn W : *******I suspect sometimes people don't want to move, not only for familiarity and costs, but many people have acquired so many possessions that it is overwhelming, especially as one is older, to deal with the sorting and letting go and packing.  The sorting and letting go is particularly large.

12:37:00     From  Antoinette Solnik   to   Hosts and panelists : Hi everyone! Synergy HomeCare of Montgomery County can help you age in place! Please call me if you or someone you know would like to remain in home and need a resource to help you. Antoinette Solnik, RN, Synergy HomeCare of Montgomery County 301-830-0560

12:37:32     From  Johanna Levitt   to   Hosts and panelists : Who will shovel my snow?

12:42:30     From  Michelle Nowak   to   Hosts and panelists : @Kathryn W - that’s a catch 22. You can either male some decisions now and plan while you’re able to. Or wait til there’s an “event” such as illness or injury and that choices will be taken away from you and you’ll be at someone’s (govt agency,?) mercy. Planning is always in our best interest as we age.

12:43:37     From  Peggy Siegel : Does your other book have specific info for those of us who are solo re: what we need to think about now and comprehensively  re: planning for caregiving and related issues?

12:43:43     From  Virginia Falconer : Can the speaker talk about her other book?

12:43:56     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : I'm in my mid-50s and I'm in a solo aging discussion group.  We are listening to presentations from caregiving businesses, trust companies, fiduciaries, etc. and besides the great expense, I'm also concerned that many of these businesses may not be around when I am more likely to need them (my 70s or older).  They also don't seem to have much in succession planning of who will take over the clients 20 or more years later.  Your suggestions for businesses for these subjects who will be around longer than 20 years?

12:45:05     From  Kathy Beck   to   Hosts and panelists : To the previous poster: How did you find this solo aging discussion group? Thanks!

12:45:26     From  Nancy Ruffner : As a Solo Ager on this call it is hard to be fearful for ourselves -and - to realize that folks are going to call on us for caregiving. If we earn all we can about aging and caregiving then we will be the best prepared for all that occurs. Someone declared recently that Solo Agers, well-educated, could  actually lead the way!

12:45:28     From  Deborah Zuckerman : VERY disappointing no discussion of how solo agers can plan for their own care, the supposed topic of the webinar

12:45:33     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Kathy Beck to All Panelists 12:45 PM

To the previous poster: How did you find this solo aging discussion group? Thanks!

12:48:51     From  Edith Harriet   to   Hosts and panelists : let joy speak

12:50:32     From  veda vazquez : when are you planning to do this presentation?

12:50:43     From  Susan V   to   Hosts and panelists : what is a "nork"

12:50:46     From  Carmen Delgado : We're caregiving for our parents who live in a country where there is no a sense of community and the seniors community doesn't exists at all? All of their children live in other countries...

12:52:10     From  Crystal Thomas : Anyone here live in Michigan interested in starting a Solo Aging group

12:53:03     From  veda vazquez : I LOVE NAPS!!!! SO IMPORTANT

12:54:08     From  Kathryn W : An employee at my local senior center felt it was an important subject to take on and she created a class which is mostly discussion every other week for about 4 months.  She contacted local care giving, care givers, trust companies, etc. to come to speak to the group.  Perhaps people can make this request to their local senior centers.  This would be one of the best things they could offer people who go to senior center events.

12:54:13     From  Johanna Levitt   to   Hosts and panelists : What about the trend to move to a less expensive foreign country?

12:54:22     From  Kathryn W : The above is about the solo aging group I attend.

12:54:37     From  Kathryn W : The majority are in their 70s that attend.

12:55:16     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Did any participants in the solo agers groups have plans and ideas for how they will be cared for?

Michelle Nowak 12:50 PM 

One option may be to put an elder attorney and/or private patient advocate on retainer to age with you. Someone you’re established with can be a resource as you age.

12:55:31     From  Peggy Haslach : Thank you Joy, you have been a wonderful resource especially for my LGBTQIA and solo women who are the core of my practice.

12:56:18     From  Deb Guy : Are there liabilities for care-givers?  You mentioned the nursing home situation are there others?

12:57:09     From  Joe Sperling : Or drop them while trying to move from bed to chair?

12:57:22     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Carmen Delgado 12:56 PM 

We're caregiving for our parents who live in a country where there is no a sense of community and the seniors community doesn't exists at all? All of their children live in other countries...

12:58:09     From  Ailene Gerhardt : Hi. Multiple people have asked about connecting with other solos and there are many ways to do so, facebook and other online groups, programs like this, community programs about solo aging around the country local and nationally, connecting with Council on Aging staff / Senior Center staff, Village to Village Network and more. There are a variety of growing networks of solo agers started by solos and professionals who identify as solo agers.

12:58:30     From  Joe Sperling : Sooo many reasons to look into LTC insurance!

12:58:39     From  wing pepper   to   Hosts and panelists : Thanks Joy - this is great

12:58:48     From  Peggy Haslach : Take care of yourself first!

12:59:28     From  Peggy Haslach : It is all part of Longevity Planning.

12:59:28     From  Joe Sperling : There are also annuities with LTC features.

12:59:38     From  Kathryn W : I'm concerned that long term care insurance insurer will no longer be around when I need it, even if they are highly rated.

12:59:39     From  Judah Rosner : Make a list for your family/friends so they can pay your bills, access your computers, insurance, credit cards...

12:59:40     From  Kathy Beck   to   Hosts and panelists : What is a good LTCI company? Genworth just had a class action suite.

12:59:44     From  Laurie Calhoun   to   Hosts and panelists : Book sounds great but this really wasn’t about solo agers which is why I joined.

12:59:49     From  Johanna Levitt   to   Hosts and panelists : What is the best age to buy LYC insurance?

13:00:00     From  Kathy Beck   to   Hosts and panelists : suit

13:00:15     From  Johanna Levitt   to   Hosts and panelists : LTC insurance

13:00:56     From  Joe Sperling : Cash can be made available through "Life Settlement" where an old life insurance policy is sold.

13:01:03     From  Roger Myers : Can you comment on how The Villages" programs can interface with your advice.

13:01:03     From  Patricia C : I developed osteoporosis in my 30s. I’ve been rejected for over 20 LTC insurance policies. Did 3 reviews last month. Still no takers, except an upfront 100,000 price tag.

13:01:07     From  Virginia Falconer : What is another name for  a patient advocate?  Fiduciary?

13:01:16     From  Ana Molina : could use a patient advocate in MD

13:01:17     From  Joe Sperling : More valuable the older and sicker the seller is.

13:01:25     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Karen Thompkins 12:57 PM 

Any suggestions for the best way to select long term care insurance?

Michelle Nowak 01:00 PM 

Please please make sure you get a reputable company that has been around for awhile. So many are going out of business after clientd have paid into for years. A good agent can help, hybrid plan sounds very interesting.

13:01:41     From  Peggy Haslach : Got to go. Thanks Joy!

13:01:55     From  Carmen Delgado : thansk great advice and book!

13:02:04     From  Ailene Gerhardt : You can search for an Independent Patient Advocate via the NAHAC website: https://nahac.com/directory-of-advocates, GNAnow.org. I am an independent patient advocate who works with people nationwide, Ailene Gerhardt, www.beaconpatientsolutions.com, ailene@beaconpatientsolutions.com, navigatingsolo.com

13:02:20     From  Roger Myers   to   Hosts and panelists : How can we Save or Print this list of Chats. !!!

13:02:52     From  Joe Sperling : Yes, Steve, hybrid plans are an excellent thing to look into.

13:04:16     From  Nancy Ruffner : Find patient advocates via their professional organizations and national directories. Greater National Advocates, gnanow.org. Natl Association of Healthcare Advocacy Consultants, "NAHAC" , nahac.com. UmbraPatientAdcocacy.com, HealthadvocateX.org, Solace.health

13:04:53     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Retire Abroad? Discussion with Dan Prescher, Senior Editor of International Living https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos/retire-abroad-discussion-with-dan-prescher-senior-editor-of-international-living

13:05:26     From  Steve Jefferys   to   Hosts and panelists : Everyone should simplify their stock portfolio. Check your financial statements. If you have more than 6 or 7 holdings in an account, your advisor is confusing complicating investments with action. You are most likely paying more in taxes than you have to = less money to pay for care. Steve Jefferys www.archfinancialadvisors.com

13:07:44     From  Steve Jefferys   to   Hosts and panelists : Ask if they are a fiduciary all the time. Many advisors who are CFP’s are not fiduciaries all the time. Get it in writing.

13:09:56     From  veda vazquez : thank you as always you present the best topics.

13:10:08     From  Ailene Gerhardt : Thanks, Joy for your trailblazing work and thanks to Steve for offering so many important discussions!

13:10:38     From  Ruth DeHart : Thank you for a fabulous conversation and advice. Excellent!

13:11:12     From  Russell Kitty : I agree. Excellent talk!

13:11:18     From  veda vazquez : Yes please, sign me up

13:11:53     From  Ruth DeHart : Include me in solo aging support group

13:12:04     From  Paula Drummer : that's really generous of you that sounds fantastic, steve!

13:12:21     From  Gloria Levin : Steve is a terrific activist and organizer for us.  Bless him.

13:12:26     From  Antoinette Jeffries   to   Hosts and panelists : Invite Joy back to discuss her other book.

13:12:31     From  Johanna Levitt   to   Hosts and panelists : ????

13:13:08     From  Alice Abrash : yes! please sign me up for a solo aging group!

13:13:20     From  Antoinette Solnik   to   Hosts and panelists : Great webinar! Thank you!!

13:13:27     From  Karen Thompkins : Sounds like a great idea to hold an open discussion on solo aging.

13:13:33     From  Christine Smith : VERY accommodating of you, Steve. I think you are "hearing" the true desperation individuals feel. Yes, please include me. Christine@preactyourage.com

13:13:46     From  Roger Myers   to   Hosts and panelists : This is a DESERT today.   The sumami is coming and government and we collectively  NOT doing enough.  THANKS for  you Wisdom and Energy.

13:14:59     From  Joe Sperling : Collective intelligence!

13:15:06     From  Carmen L : Appreciate this ProAging Community :-)