Discussion with the Playwright of Because She Is My Mother

"Because She's My Mother" by Paula Stone combines both poignancy and humor to follow the bittersweet journey of an adult daughter as she cares for both her mother and herself. Among the many issues the play raises are the challenges and conflicts of both the caregiver and care recipient as they each struggle to face loss and let go into the nature of life.  This link to an unlisted youtube videorecording of the play is being offered to the ProAging Community for only streaming at no charge as a community service and not for commercial purposes.

Link on the National Alliance for Caregiving website (where the play is a Take Care Community Resource) Direct link to the play https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K47-vzRQ9ZQ

Paula Stone paulastone95@verizon.net

Listen to the podcast on your favorite platform 

Chat Transcript

12:04:53     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : "Because She's My Mother" by Paula Stone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K47-vzRQ9ZQ

12:11:44     From  Patricia Dubroof : As an advocate of using creativity to heal, Paula’s play writing gave her that balance through this experience.and her gift of this play helps others learn about relationships with transitioning parents. Thank you!

12:12:30     From  Patricia Dubroof : We plan our lives and yet anything can happen.

12:16:13     From  Frances Lorenzi   to   Hosts and panelists : Man Plans; God laughs

12:23:30     From  Patricia Dubroof : Another local example: Steve Little wrote Dementia Melodies based on his time working as a musician in AL, IL and senior communities. It’s a great play and I believe he will do it live again this fall.

12:23:49     From  Adele Logan-Galen : Great presentation Steve!  Thanks

12:25:18     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : DEMENTIA MELODIES-“IT AIN’T OVER ’TIL IT’S OVER” http://www.dementiamelodies.com/about/

12:35:15     From  Patricia Dubroof : Honoring the family and professional caregivers that help us age with dignity and grace. Who Cares? Multi media Project Is my gift to those caregivers. https://www.pdubroof.com/who-cares

12:35:32     From  Patricia Dubroof : Paula is spot on!!

12:36:49     From  Frances Lorenzi   to   Hosts and panelists : I was the frontline (albeit long-distance) caregiver for both my parents (one of whom passed away 10 years ago, and the other 5 years ago).  As the years go by (and my husband and I get older and frailer) I realize that our children will inevitably play a caregiving role for us. I mean, I KNEW this theoretically, but now it feels like a looming reality.  I thnk we will ask our grown children to watch Paula’s play with us.  I’m sure it will result in very important (and needed) family conversations!

12:40:11     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Frances Lorenzi to All Panelists 12:36 PM

I was the frontline (albeit long-distance) caregiver for both my parents (one of whom passed away 10 years ago, and the other 5 years ago).  As the years go by (and my husband and I get older and frailer) I realize that our children will inevitably play a caregiving role for us. I mean, I KNEW this theoretically, but now it feels like a looming reality.  I thnk we will ask our grown children to watch Paula’s play with us.  I’m sure it will result in very important (and needed) family conversations!

12:40:16     From  Merrie Newlond : I can totally relate. I am Liz. My mother is Ida, age 87.  Also, I am an engineer like Paula. My question to Paula, did you have any siblings that could help your mother also? My siblings are deceased and I feel my mother is angry at me and has expectations of me.

12:41:26     From  Patricia Dubroof : Like the Enterprise you have to have maximum shields up! Protect your heart from the anger. It’s not about you!!

12:42:18     From  Patricia Dubroof : Having siblings on the same page can take coaching. Jenn Gruber specializes in helping adult children with their aging parents.

12:46:43     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Paula Stone <paulastone95@verizon.net>

12:50:03     From  Adele Logan-Galen   to   Hosts and panelists : Am too sad.  Brought back so many memories.

12:50:35     From  Paula David   to   Hosts and panelists : Mobile assisting living! I've loved this session and cannot wait to view the play! Good idea to watch with my daughters. Then they will know what my life is like taking care of their grandparents.

12:51:31     From  Suzanne Ellerbrock : Thank you for commenting on needing a respite.  I can't go with my husband on many trips and it is very frustrating to us both.  My Mom lives in the same house as we do and does not want someone to come in and "babysit".

12:52:30     From  Patricia Dubroof : Respite care is our expertise! Assisting Hands Home Care. 301-363-2587. Call me. Patricia Dubroof

12:53:19     From  Peggy Breda : I work with families everyday who are going through this.  I feel their pain and the challenges each family is faced with. It is important to have allies and people to lean on. There are people out there who hear you and can support you.

12:53:23     From  Patricia Dubroof : Modeling for our kids what we want to have happen when we need their help.

12:54:17     From  Patricia Dubroof : Sister Kathy’s support group at holy cross hospital is a great opportunity for caregivers.

12:56:05     From  Frances Lorenzi   to   Hosts and panelists : Re: Modeling for our kids: My son-in-law privately told me he felt he learned a lot about how to express love to his parents by watching how I took care of my parents in their end-years.  I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.

12:56:25     From  Merrie Newlond : thank you Paula & Steve. I really needed to hear this. I'm feeling thankful that I practice self care and mindfulness.

12:56:26     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Frances Lorenzi to All Panelists 12:56 PM

Re: Modeling for our kids: My son-in-law privately told me he felt he learned a lot about how to express love to his parents by watching how I took care of my parents in their end-years.  I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.

12:57:15     From  Patricia Dubroof : Excellent program! Thank you Steve for supporting creativity and healing.

12:58:12     From  Vieda W : SIGN ME UP TOOOOOO ????

12:58:32     From  Arlene Williams : Thank you so so much

12:58:35     From  Lena Carosa   to   Hosts and panelists : Thank you for making us aware

12:58:47     From  Patricia Dubroof : Paula’s has such a huge heart!!

12:59:45     From  Arlene Williams : I agree

12:59:56     From  Merrie Newlond : I agree 100%