Solo Aging - Our MOST POPULAR Discussion Topic!

Growing older is complex and filled with uncertainties. But growing older alone requires thinking critically about the ever-evolving challenges. Join us for a live and interactive discussion that explores a whole-person approach for living well beyond 65.   

Co-Hosted by Carol Marak, Author of Solo and Smart: The Roadmap for a Supportive and Secure Future 

• CarolMarak.com 
• 512-423-4098

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Questions Asked:

• A lot of solo ager friends are thinking of leaving the US to age somewhere else. Q:  Anyone else hearing this, too?  Q: What countries you hearing them choose?
• Are you familiar with villages as a senior concept that could help solo agers as well as all agers.
• Aging is not just about "low cost"; it's about family, friends, and community! Marjorie
• I once met reps from a group that was advocating for the “portability of Medicare” — get coverage overseas (like Social Security can be received other than in USA).  Anyone think that is (politically/legislatively/advocacy) possible in future?
• Are there any peer support groups that discuss the areas in your book?   I would love to join one.
• More towns near universities now are trying out students living with solo agers. Any folks having that in your town or city and could recommend where this is happening?  Thank you.  Excellent and useful event
• How do you define Solo Aging.  I ask this, because this came up with in an interivew with a reporter asking about solo aging.  Many people, who are single but have adult children that lives in other parts of the country.  This reporter wanted solo agers that had no immediate family.
• A friend said she wishes to rent at the end of her life so no one has to handle her house/apt. after she dies.   Is this wise?
• Can someone share where we can find the census demographics that help us understand the number of 65+ in US and the different other data - like the 22 million statistics shared earlier?  Thank you
• Can someone share where we can find the census demographics that help us understand the number of 65+ in US and the different other data - like the 22 million statistics shared earlier?  Thank you
• can we have a future solo ager group also ? Or would it be better to be part of solo aging.  Married with no children!
• If one is a solo ager, what packet of info and legal forms should be taped to the refrig if we die alone?  Thankx
• Would luv to see in The Chat some of the fun benefits of being a solo ager. :-)   Not dire aspects~
• Hope you have a follow up - yes, we need to hear that aging solo is not being all  lonely . Also would love to have a session  about financial aspects etc

Chat Transcript:

12:07:40     From  Roger Montgomery   to   Hosts and panelists : Roger here can see and hear do I need a microphone

12:07:52     From  Arlene Polangin : Steve,  I attended the program Carol did a few months ago.  Is this a repeat of that?  If so, I may leave early.

12:08:08     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community   to   Roger Montgomery and all panelists : no you are good you can type in question

12:08:15     From  AnnMarie Riehl   to   Hosts and panelists : Solo Agers should consider Ferretto’s Smart Plan – have a professional walk beside you to set up and carry your goals. Call Ferretto Eldercare Consulting at 410-661-6720 or ferrettoeldercare.com

12:08:24     From  AnnMarie Riehl : Solo Agers should consider Ferretto’s Smart Plan – have a professional walk beside you to set up and carry your goals. Call Ferretto Eldercare Consulting at 410-661-6720

12:08:34     From  Roger Montgomery   to   Hosts and panelists : do I need a camera.  sorry new to this

12:10:35     From  Joe Sperling : To plan and prepare for solo aging, consider learning about your options for Long-Term Care coverage.  There are a variety of options available.  I can help you learn what your options are.  Contact me:  Joe Sperling, 301-980-8869.  joe@joesperlinginsurance.com.  Independent insurance broker for 30+ years.

12:11:22     From  Glenna Crooks : Good point Steve about how one of a couple will die first and leave the other behind. If they're Boomers, they may not have kids...22 million Boomers never had kids

12:12:04     From  Eleanor Taylor : Eleanor Taylor of North Shore Village Network, Evanston, Illinois. Thanks for this program today!

12:12:28     From  Lisa Cook : Glenna - 22 million - Wow! Thanks for sharing that,

12:13:13     From  Joe Sperling : Failing to plan is a plan for failure.

12:13:37     From  Glenna Crooks : And, by the way, even if they have kids, since 40% of American Adults live (on average) 700 miles from family, they may not have nearby support.

12:14:26     From  Kathleen Steed : With all these resources in the chat, why is there no way to copy the chat?

12:15:39     From  Beth Plenn   to   Hosts and panelists : Hello, it’s my first lecture.

12:15:56     From  Glenna Crooks : If memory serves, I believe Steve includes the chat when he posts the recording, which usually happens the same day.

12:16:26     From  Kathleen Steed : Thank you.

12:16:49     From  Beth Plenn   to   Hosts and panelists : Beth Southern NJ.

12:16:49     From  Arlene Polangin : Didn't Carol do this program a few months ago?  If it's a repeat I attended that.  Please reply.

12:16:58     From  Marjorie Fox : Marjorie Fox, Co-Author with Eleanor Blayney of Women Wise: The Essential Guide to Financial and Lifestyle Decisions as We Age, Amplify Publishing Group, 2022

12:17:26     From  Glenna Crooks : This is not a repeat. I talked with her yesterday.

12:18:08     From  Arlene Polangin : Steve, Did she do this a few months ago.  I attended it so I might leave.

12:18:27     From  Gloria Hoffman : I belong to Northwest Village in NW Philadelphia.  This is a wonderful organization!!

12:18:48     From  Arlene Polangin : I belong to a village.

12:18:51     From  Dixcy Bosley : Mexico !

12:19:05     From  Tony Burke : would like to know more about your Phila village

12:19:11     From  Peter Crouch : Guatemala.  GREAT Fishing!!!!

12:19:25     From  Rita O'Connor : Ecuador and Uruguay

12:19:36     From  Kathleen G   to   Hosts and panelists : Portugal.  Someone found a walkable town with primary care etc close by.

12:19:41     From  Dixcy Bosley : Three friends have relocated to Mexico…senior community called Namaste      They are motivated to leave b/c US is becoming too fascist

12:20:13     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : https://nomadcapitalist.com/

12:20:30     From  Tom DeMuth : Palisades Village is a wonderful, volunteer based organization helping our neighbors age in place in NW DC.

12:20:58     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Retire Abroad? Discussion with Dan Prescher, Senior Editor of International Living https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/videos/retire-abroad-discussion-with-dan-prescher-senior-editor-of-international-living

12:22:06     From  Margi Helsel-Arnold : Portugal!

12:22:08     From  Dixcy Bosley : Another positive feature about relocating  is that most countries practice “ slow medicine”  Less defensive medicine / over treatment for end of life care.

12:22:09     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Kathleen G to All Panelists 12:19 PM

Portugal.  Someone found a walkable town with primary care etc close by.

12:23:37     From  Arlene Polangin : This is exactly what she did before.  It's from the book she wrote.

12:24:57     From  Alison Lynch : totally worth revisiting and considering for self and others

12:27:39     From  ana Molina : Tony Burke check out Penn's Village in Philadelphia, Jane Eleey, Executive DIrector info@pennsvillage.org

12:28:35     From  Malka Young : Carol, my experience is that friends fall away when person get's sick especially with dementia

12:28:36     From  Wanda Jones   to   Hosts and panelists : I’m new so this is great

12:28:45     From  Barbara Sullivan : Good afternoon.  Barbara Sullivan, Executive Director, Village to Village Network.  www.vtvnetwork.org

12:29:18     From  Wanda Jones : I’m new so this is great Carol

12:29:46     From  Tony Burke : Thanks Barbara and Ana

12:29:47     From  Malka Young : Malka Young, LICSW - JFS Elder Care Solutions

12:30:04     From  Malka Young : www.jfsmweldercare.org

12:30:18     From  Wanda Jones : Did you post Carol book?

12:30:31     From  Glenna Crooks : I'll be talking about those "family, friends, and community" (and other) networks to this group on Sept 29.

12:30:53     From  Malka Young : Sana Miguel de Allende

12:30:56     From  Dorothy Stiles   to   Hosts and panelists : After moving a few times, I'd very strongly recommend renting in an area prior to making a long-term commitment.

12:31:08     From  Mary Lou Demeo   to   Hosts and panelists : Please let Carol continue with her slides and presentation. Those of us who are new to the presentation need the context without so many side issues

12:31:13     From  Patti Hutton : Excellent information. Patti Hutton, Residences at Vantage Point, Columbia, MD huttonp@vantagepointresidences.org

12:31:15     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Links to Carols book can be found at https://carolmarak.com/index.html

12:31:15     From  Malka Young : That worked well for my aunt until she got congestive heart failure and needed medical help

12:31:22     From  Mary Goettelmann : Oaxaca Mexico

12:32:08     From  Barbara Rosenfeld : Hi Barbara Sullivan  --   you are a great resource for all these topics.  I hope you get a chance to contribute more to this disucussion. I am not interested in relocating to a foreign country so I hope we don't stay on this topic.

12:32:13     From  JoAnn Lynn : I am now a solo ager.  I am very grateful for the Positive Aging programs that I have attended throughout Covid. I was prepared.  Thank you!

12:32:34     From  Gloria Levin : San Miguel de Allende.  A friend just returned from Portugal, having realized that his relocation did not work. He felt too isolated. Another friend is in Portugal and is connected in with ex pats there.

12:33:19     From  Barbara Rosenfeld : Barbara Rosenfeld sent message to Barbara Sullivan.

12:33:46     From  Elisabeth Green : first find out how misogynist and racist and biased the people in the state or country are, before they commit hate crimes against you.

12:35:04     From  Gloria Levin : Judy Rough, formerly Senior Planet/Colorado does a fantastic program called Ducks in a Row. VERY detailed. She'll do it via zoom again, starting in September.

12:35:36     From  veda vazquez : you have a great point Elizabeth, not one usually discussed!!! thank you

12:35:36     From  Wanda Jones : I am a solo ager I am interested

12:35:46     From  Elisabeth Green : Retired Climate-Neutral Single Vegan Childfree Tree-Huggers and Birthstrikers experience vulnerabilities, inequities, and abuses that members of corporate society do not. Others have oil & gas pensions or children to care for them in their dotage. LGBT seniors are more likely than non-LGBT seniors to live alone. They are also less likely to have children, which can limit their access to sources of social support for assistance with the activities of daily living and with chronic or acute medical needs (Henning-Smith et al., 2015; Wallace et al., 2011).

12:35:53     From  Jeannine Clark   to   Hosts and panelists : im interested as well

12:35:53     From  Shanti   to   Hosts and panelists : Yes ! that is a good idea Steve

12:35:55     From  martin M   to   Hosts and panelists : I would be interested

12:36:02     From  veda vazquez : i am interested also!!!

12:36:04     From  Roger Montgomery   to   Hosts and panelists : Interested

12:36:05     From  Marjorie Fox : I am interested!

12:36:07     From  Barbara Weidhorn : I am interested in solo aging support group too.

12:36:21     From  Glenna Crooks : As a former federal government official, I don't see any way that Medicare will be portable to another country because it does not operate like Social Security, which just cuts a check. Even if policy forces were to make that possible, the logistics of payment methodologies and the differences between what we have and how other countries do it would make it a logistical impossibility.

12:36:26     From  susan ventura : I'm interested as well

12:36:28     From  Alice Fisher : I am a founding member of a LGBTQA+ virtual senior center. OUTstanding LIFEorg

12:36:28     From  Courtney Nalty : I have just created a membership that is for caregivers of aging adults that will include education, workbooks and support groups, but would love to have a special side group that meets for solo agers. Courtney Nalty - Generational Support, LLC Courtney@generationalsupport.com

12:36:32     From  Roger Montgomery   to   Hosts and panelists : Like to star one in Tampa

12:36:33     From  Donna Savage : Count me in!

12:36:35     From  Martha Wolf : Solo Aging Group would be great online group! I’d join!

12:37:01     From  sara sheets : I have started a Solo Living support group in Beaverton Oregon.  Have a regular attendance of about 20 people once a month.  Has been in place for about two years.

12:37:03     From  Fanta Doumbia : Amazing work Carol!!!

12:37:26     From  JoAnn Lynn : I would be interested in an on-line group.

12:37:34     From  Barbara Sullivan : SilverNest has several programs that are partnering with Villages

12:37:43     From  gloria Gaddy : This is very informative and as Steve says each time these topics are discussed , fresh ideas are created.  Maybe someone just realized they may be solo or will become solo.  Great information - watch moving out of the country due to health benefits and health care. My husband had a fatal experience living abroad being solo !

12:38:28     From  veda vazquez : i am so sorry Gloria

12:39:36     From  Elisabeth Green : let's include solo agers in the patient support program for reimbursement under the plan posted at

https://david293.substack.com/p/deploying-156-million-for-patient?utm_source=/profile/4839649-david-jensen&utm_medium=reader2 from the $16.5 million provided by California taxpayers to cover regenerative medicine. Define the beneficiary population as “individuals who prevented or postponed the burdens of negative public health effects, environmental pollution, and impacts of climate change, and continue to do so, by remaining net-zero carbon emissions since 1965 when scientists first warned the president of the United States that overpopulation and fossil fuel use were causing climate change.

12:39:43     From  sara sheets   to   Hosts and panelists : Steve,  Would you send me your email address?

12:40:00     From  Mary Sheldon : I am interested in the online solo group

12:40:09     From  Barbara Sullivan : No, I jumped on late

12:41:40     From  Barbara Sullivan : Good answer. I said the same!

12:41:52     From  Mina Wuchenich : Can we move to address the financial aspectsof Solo Aging—finding the POA younger than you are?

12:42:22     From  veda vazquez : For the longest time I felt like the only woman without children or husband. this is such an eye opening discussion

12:42:22     From  Lisa Cook : I'd like to be involved in this solo aging group as well. Thanks.

12:43:03     From  Victoria Robinson : I'm an example of a now-current "solo ager" but served as FT caregiver for my husband who had Alzheimers for 6yrs before his 2019 death.  I felt&functioned as a solo ager even while he was alive.

12:43:57     From  Elisabeth Green : Only the people conceived before November 5 in 1965 https://www.climatefiles.com/climate-change-evidence/presidents-report-atmospher-carbon-dioxide/ were excusably oblivious to the climate change that results from human actions. Those people were on notice to begin accounting for emissions in 1965.

  Those 3.4 billion people alive in August of 1966 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_population were already increasing global warming with a carbon footprint of 12 billion tonnes CO2e/y https://www.c2es.org/content/international-emissions/ total, which is 3.53 tCO2e/y each. Thus, the Annual Carbon Quota for each of those seniors (over 55 years old) should be a value between 3 and 3.53 tCO2e/y but must be estimated/determined by unanimous consent of experts in all hard sciences without conflict of interest.

  The Annual Carbon Quota must be exempt from taxation.

12:44:15     From  Victoria Robinson : I'd also like discussion/leads about finding a (non-personal) POA.

12:45:18     From  Elisabeth Green : Childfree seniors may pass their lifelong accumulated unused Quota to another individual (or to her healthcare providers) for no less than $10,000/tCO2e or assign it in a will. Her chosen patient support program shall administer the transfer on a transparent, decentralized, immutable, open source ledger that maintains private the medical records so that she may sell a license to use them, with informed consent.

  The carbon tax on emissions above the Quota shall cover all costs of verifying direct (scope 1) carbon sequestration and emission since 1965

12:45:59     From  Marilyn Gordon   to   Hosts and panelists : I missed the first half hour. I am in Carol’s Elder Orphans Facebook. group. There is a NYC subgroup…I joined it just before the pandemic…we have not been in contact since. I am in an apartment building ….in my apartment for almost 50 years.  All ages. But most people seem to keep to themselves.

12:46:23     From  AnnMarie Riehl : Any Baltimore Area folks want to do a Solo Aging Book Club? Let’s connect annmarie@ferrettoeldercare.com

12:46:49     From  Glenna Crooks : Looking for the citation now.

12:47:10     From  Carol Marak, Solo and Smart, Dallas : Solo Aging is the fastest growing segment of seniors today! My name is Carol Marak, Author, SOLO AND SMART https://www.amazon.com/Carol--L.-Marak/e/B09TBFT9QY

12:47:30     From  Dorothy Stiles   to   Hosts and panelists : The condo complex I live in has a very mixed age group, and I feel safe that we have a secure front desk that will accept our packages, screen visitors before they're allowed in, all us a Lyft, etc.  I also have friends here and we send a quick text to each other each morning to check in that we're all ok.

12:47:39     From  Glenna Crooks : If I can't find the citation while we're on the call today, I'll share it when I present on Sept 29.

12:48:09     From  Alison Lynch : I'll email you AnnMarie

12:48:19     From  veda vazquez : awesome idea!!!

12:49:45     From  Barbara Sullivan : Great question.  We (VtVN) is hosting a conference in October and one of the sessions is a presentation from Final Exit Network on Solo Aging.   You can find the conference details on our website www.vtvnetwork.org

12:50:05     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : From Dorothy Stiles to All Panelists 12:47 PM

The condo complex I live in has a very mixed age group, and I feel safe that we have a secure front desk that will accept our packages, screen visitors before they're allowed in, all us a Lyft, etc.  I also have friends here and we send a quick text to each other each morning to check in that we're all ok.

12:50:23     From  Barbara Sullivan : Me too!  Thanks Carol!

12:50:47     From  Elisabeth Green : Would you like to start a community development financing entity for solo agers with environmental credit? Or a startup to increase autonomy for women? Or to extend the healthspan of lifetime climate-neutral stewards?

I am developing a startup to extend the healthspan of lifetime climate-neutral stewards. I am looking for backend and AI developers.

12:51:02     From  Carol Marak, Solo and Smart, Dallas   to   Barbara Sullivan and all panelists : Yes connect, Barbara! Carol@carolMarak.com

12:51:21     From  mary busse : Fairfax County offers a "file of lilfe" magnetic envelop to be attached to the refrigerator. It is a place to post health records, emergency contacts, etc.  Emergency personnel look on the frig first.

12:51:32     From  Carol Marak, Solo and Smart, Dallas   to   Barbara Sullivan and all panelists : Let's connect. sorry for the typo

12:52:12     From  Tony Burke : in fact most local fire companies provide the file of life for no cost

12:52:29     From  Dorothy Stiles   to   Hosts and panelists : In urban areas transportation ahd good health care is generally accessible.  In Philadelphia if you're over 65 it's free!

12:52:43     From  Barbara Sullivan   to   Hosts and panelists : Let's connect Carol!  Barbara.sullivan@vtvnetwork.org

12:52:54     From  Martha Wolf   to   Hosts and panelists : This was excellent Steve and Carol! Thank you, I will join again!

12:52:59     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : steve@proaging.com

12:53:00     From  Diane Watson : In some parts of NY, the File of Life is "the Vial of Life" where info is in a vial placed in refrigerator

12:53:44     From  Gloria Levin : If you are still using a VIAL of life rather than a FILE of Life, change it.  The latter is much easier for first responders to find, on the front of refrigerator rather than somewhere inside.

12:54:14     From  Gloria Levin : I am with my fire dept.

12:54:52     From  Lisa Cook : I "interviewed" neighbors before moving to a community in Minnesota - it really made a difference.

12:55:07     From  susan ventura : Thanks Gloria for the info on the FILE

12:55:24     From  sara sheets : what state is Fairfax County in?

12:55:35     From  Tony Burke : it is in VA

12:55:40     From  Elisabeth Green : Carbon offsets are avoidance of CO2 emission caused by self restraint. For example, a woman avoids 58.6 tCO2e/y by remaining childfree. She can put those offsets on the voluntary carbon market at the going rate or at the true cost price of $10,000 each.

12:55:55     From  Victoria Robinson : Steve- Have you done (or could you assemble to do) a program on Alzheimer support for family caregivers? A terrific resource is (Fairfax, VA area's) INSIGHT MEMORY CARE CENTER.

12:56:08     From  Mina Wuchenich : EG please keepads off this discussion

12:56:51     From  Susan Botta : This was great...everything new to me. Thank you both.

12:57:03     From  Barbara Sullivan : Thanks Carol and Steve, great program.

12:57:47     From  Lisa Cook : This was wonderful - best of luck to all finding the right place for you!

12:57:49     From  Wanda Jones : Thanks Carol and Steve all new to me, at 64 no kids

12:58:07     From  veda vazquez : the remotes for everything are MINE!!!!

12:58:08     From  Barbara Weidhorn : Thanks for this meeting.  Hope you will re-visit this topic periodically.

12:58:24     From  Nancy Ruffner : Thanks for a lively discussion, Steve, Carol, and everyone in the chat! I am a Solo - such freedom!

12:58:25     From  Colleen Tressler : Really enjoyed this conversation, and look forward to future events.

12:58:34     From  Wanda Jones : I’ve been able to have a great career traveling the USA

12:58:35     From  veda vazquez : ice cream is my favorite dinner

12:58:37     From  Kitty Devilbiss : this was a terrific program.  thanks so very much!

12:58:55     From  Wanda Jones : Now I want to go abroad

12:59:24     From  Pamela Houghtaling : Managing my own financial affairs! Another great discussion! Thanks so much, Carol and Steve!

12:59:25     From  Wanda Jones : I would love to have a companion

12:59:39     From  veda vazquez : All about you!!!!

12:59:52     From  Mina Wuchenich : yes please more discussion of financialissues

13:00:29     From  Gail Crockett : I would want someone who lived in the apartment next door so could have my alone time and do what I want when I want

13:00:43     From  Elisabeth Green : Can we connect with other net-zero childfree carbon creditors with purely positive planetary impact? Should we reward solo agers for carbon sequestration at the rate set by hard science with no conflict of interest? Should we each have a robot to lift the heavy weights? Should we have regenerative medicine to share more of the wisdom of the elders? Connect with me through the links posted at http://Green247.org/

13:00:45     From  Judith Bitting : one grown married son ... out of state with whom I have a contentious relationship w... sooooo heartbreaking w many issues.... sooooo THAT is horribly solo

13:00:50     From  Wanda Jones : Companion for travel, dinner, movie, etc., but want them to have their own place

13:00:52     From  veda vazquez : i love this

13:00:53     From  Lisa Cook : Personally I like making my own decisions. If a partner shows up, that's great - as long as I remain independent. :)

13:01:16     From  Alice Fisher : I’m 3rd generation solo ager…it looks like one of my daugters will be 4th generation.  We all have had great friends and enjoy our lives

13:02:11     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Here is a link to the survey https://users.fastfocus.io/validate?ff_token=cfA0xjXqSfCRP05go-R6pQ

13:03:28     From  Jeannine Clark   to   Hosts and panelists : Agree!  a high concern for me as a solo ager

13:04:16     From  veda vazquez : OMG!!! THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST DISCUSSIONS EVER!!! THANK YOU

13:04:21     From  Elisabeth Green : where is the privacy policy? who is collecting all of that personal information without paying true cost?