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Posted by Positive Aging Community on 11/17/2023

Taboo Talk on Aging Topics


Join us for an interactive discussion talking about topics that we (or our loved ones) don’t want to talk about! Ladan Madresehee Ladan is FAMOUS for her Taboo Talks! These casual events include an open and safe discussion regarding the issues surrounding different taboo topics

One attendee asked us to do a poll asking the ages of people in this discussion, check out the results! Over 100 people registered and over 40 took the poll.

Age of Attendees
Youngest35
Oldest96
Average69
Percentage
Over 7054%
Over 60 73%
Under 6027%

Questions Asked

  • "So what do you want your Celebration of life to be like?  Have you pre-planned your services and made someone aware of what you have preplanned?"
  • Music, "Fields of Gold" song by Eva Cassidy, Celebration of Life, HomeGoing Funeral Song... very inspirational song...
  • When I watch movies and the seniors are having sex, I wonder about it because intercourse is very painful for me. I am a breast cancer survivor and cannot use vaginal estradiol. Olive oil and such have been recommended by medical professionals but they just don’t work for me. There’s viagra for men but what about for women? It’s just very sad for me.
  • "So is that the name of your Facebook page? taboo talks?
  • Thank you Steve""Eric Cathcart, Patricia Duboff, who is this?...You say they plan amazing funerals and memorial events."We have a family friend she wanted to be at her Celebration of Life, so at age 90 Family have given her a Celebration with her joyful presence and participation.  She is 100 now...

Chat Transcript

12:08:39     From  Joe Sperling : It's a free country and a free discussion.  If anyone is concerned about content, it's easy to tune out.

12:09:10     From  Sue Christopher : We won't "cancel" you! ????

12:10:29     From  Joe Sperling : Dogs (and maybe cats) leave pawprints on our hearts.

12:12:43     From  Joe Sperling : Many families don't talk with their children about finances, investing, and long-term care.

12:14:48     From  Patricia Dubroof : Thanks for mentioning Death Cafe. My next Death Cafe is December 20 at 7pm on ZOOM> Just let me know if you'd like to join. pdubroof@assistinghands.com

12:15:06     From  Patricia Dubroof : We laugh and talk about everything related to Death and dying!

12:15:36     From  lee de cola : i'm interested in sharing positive views of death.

12:16:51     From  Joe Sperling : It can be a generational thing.  Depression era folks and sometimes their children, are ssuper frugal.

12:17:59     From  Gary Wederspahn : An excellent resource for countering the taboo about death talk is https://www.thegooddeathsocietyblog.net/

12:18:18     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Death Cafe https://deathcafe.com/

12:18:24     From  Anna Harvey : In Laden's experience, why do boomers generally not want to think about or plan their aging journey?

12:18:48     From  Jessica Hardiman : Great funeral song!

12:19:01     From  Joe Sperling : A wonderful funeral song is Eva Cassidy-Over the Rainbow.

12:20:43     From  Patricia Dubroof : Death Doula's help ask the hard questions and make the plan possible.

12:21:00     From  Patricia C : I have a 100 year old friend who makes $80000 a year from her pension and SS and owns a million dollar home. She won’t hire an aide to help around the house. Medicare covers 2 hours of aide service 3 days a week. The aide charges $20 an hour. Her kids have even offered to pay. Some people are too set in their ways.

12:21:36     From  Patricia Dubroof : Lee join me at Death Cafe. You'd like this group!!

12:22:35     From  lee de cola   to   Hosts and panelists : LDECOLA@COMCAST.NET

12:23:21     From  lee de cola : I HATE navigating 'health' care!

12:23:24     From  Joe Sperling : She should be honets witht he family.

12:24:28     From  Joe Sperling : Many Boomers are simply in denial.

12:25:27     From  Anna Harvey : Yes, I get they/we are in denial... but why??

12:25:47     From  lee de cola   to   Hosts and panelists : like to see a poll on the ages of this webinar's participants.

12:27:29     From  lee de cola : SEX: be your own lover first.

12:28:01     From  Sue Christopher : I update my password list for all of my social media, banking, healthcare, etc. sites and give it to my sister at least once a year.

12:28:24     From  mary busse : Like Ladan, I am proud to tell my age...84!  What to say to people whose reply is...You don't look it.  Then suggest that I look 60!  Duh!  What's wrong with looking my age.  I haven't come up with a good come back.

12:28:26     From  Gary Wederspahn : A "Taboo" is a culturally defined concept.  We can learn about from other cultures that don't share our taboos.

12:28:40     From  Anna Harvey : oh, very interesting, Steve - thanks for that perspective!

12:28:40     From  lee de cola : the big sleep.

12:28:43     From  Joe Sperling : Right Steve.  Some of us believe we will be the very lucky ones.

12:29:25     From  Patricia Dubroof : no poll yet!

12:29:26     From  Molly Price : I don't see a poll

12:29:28     From  Anna Harvey : I don't see it either

12:29:40     From  Michelle Mosford   to   Hosts and panelists : It would be ideal to have much more education and open discussion on declining health/navigating healthcare/death/dying/funerals/celebrations of life...and the financial piece that goes along with death and dying. When I go to a hospice admission, I openly ask about funeral arrangements, their preference and concerns. Many times I get wildly varied reactions, positive and negative. Thanks for talking about this! Clarifying misconceptions and stereotypes is crucial. My parents laid out all their plans, we discussed the plans and I went to the funeral home with my father then after he passed, we helped at the funeral home clean and dress him.

12:30:55     From  lee de cola : share (carefully) your sex toys.

12:31:05     From  Joe Sperling : It's not impossible.  Just harder.

12:31:26     From  Molly Price : I work in Senior Living and it's WILD

12:34:54     From  Molly Price : Same! My mom is 76 absolutely refuses to even consider it

12:35:21     From  Joe Sperling : Allowing some one to fail has to be done with thought.  Tread carefully if failure could be threatening to life or limb.

12:35:32     From  Patricia C : I only got my age

12:35:54     From  Victoria Breeden   to   Hosts and panelists : Be careful, though, the adult communities are having financial difficulties and some don’t fulfill their promises.

12:36:02     From  lee de cola   to   Hosts and panelists : number of respondents?

12:36:34     From  Anna Harvey : thanks, Steve - that would be very interesting!

12:37:47     From  lee de cola : the brain is the supreme erogenous zone.

12:39:20     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Music, "Fields of Gold" song by Eva Cassidy, Celebration of Life, HomeGoing Funeral Song... very inspirational song...

12:39:30     From  Patricia C : There are therapists and exercise professionals who focus on pelvic floor dysfunction. They have suggestions for strengthening and relaxing the pelvic floor.

12:40:06     From  lee de cola : interested in male pelvic physical therapists.

12:41:01     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Ladan Madresehee ladan@leave2me.com

12:41:07     From  Nancy Linnerooth   to   Hosts and panelists : I have to leave early, but this has been fascinating. Thank you, Steve and Ladan.

12:41:52     From  Jessica Hardiman : BLadder control is another topic

12:42:43     From  lee de cola : i don't have grandchildren, but i think elders need to talk to them about climate change.

12:43:42     From  Kathleen STEED   to   Hosts and panelists : Because I cannot be examined by a gynecologist because of atrophy, the gynecologist suggested I check for vagina dilators. She said any would do, and that they are on Amazon.  Yes, to my surprise, they are are large variety.  Another person said to be sure to check on the Memorial Sloane Kettering Cancer Center website on how to use the dilators.

12:43:56     From  Victoria Breeden   to   Hosts and panelists : Is your fb community Taboo Talks?

12:45:01     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Taboo Talks & Thoughts https://www.facebook.com/groups/taboott/

12:45:15     From  Kathleen STEED   to   Hosts and panelists : I have been to lots of sessions on death and dying.  Somehow, I thought your “Taboo Talks” would be more along the lines of what to do in situations involving the physical results of aging.  For instance, problems with chewing and eating, the may result in dribbling food or other socially unpleasant problems.  Then, there are the really awkward, embarrassing  instances of not being able to “hold it” with urination or even evacuation.  Especially when out or as a guest in someone’s home.   These are really “taboo,” rarely mentioned even with an older best friend.

12:45:36     From  Jessica Hardiman : im 47 and have this issue

12:45:46     From  Jessica Hardiman : I joke about it with my friends all the time

12:45:46     From  Joe Sperling : It depends.

12:47:18     From  Joe Sperling : And if you live long enough, most of your friends have died.

12:48:11     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Because I cannot be examined by a gynecologist because of atrophy, the gynecologist suggested I check for vagina dilators. She said any would do, and that they are on Amazon.  Yes, to my surprise, they are are large variety.  Another person said to be sure to check on the Memorial Sloane Kettering Cancer Center website on how to use the dilators.

12:49:58     From  Patricia C : Advanced directives can include funeral arrangements.

12:50:41     From  lee de cola : i want people to talk about me as they would if i were not there...hey, i'm not!

12:51:26     From  Gary Wederspahn : A great book of adult cartoons on taboo talk with elders is Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant? :https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Can't_We_Talk_About_Something_More_Pleasant?

12:51:36     From  lee de cola : aging is hard...

12:51:37     From  Joe Sperling : Having a joy-filled celebration rather than a dirge as a funeral is VERY attractive alternative.

12:53:14     From  Patricia Dubroof : Like much of life, we can plan what we want today for end of life, but reality may change that path. Which is why it's so important to be talking about this with loved ones, so as thing morf, hopefully they can maintain many of your wishes.

12:53:52     From  Patricia Dubroof : Eric Cathcart is making amazing funeral, memorial events happen for folks!

12:55:18     From  Patricia C : It would be helpful if support groups around health issues could include practice sessions for telling others about their symptoms.

12:55:48     From  lee de cola : and we never got to talk about healthcare?

12:56:24     From  Joe Sperling : Now you're trying to buck human nature.

12:57:27     From  Patricia Dubroof : Thanks, nice chatting and great responses!!

12:57:42     From  Joe Sperling : This has been AWESOME!

12:57:49     From  lee de cola : group therapy.

12:57:49     From  Rozzlyn Pierce : This has been my favorite webinar. Please have more

12:57:53     From  Patricia Dubroof : Taboo Talks Weekly!!!

12:58:37     From  Jessica Hardiman : Awesome!!

12:58:43     From  Kathleen STEED   to   Hosts and panelists : Or break down the “taboos” by subjects, and concentrate on a specific area.

12:58:45     From  Joe Sperling : Howley Cwap!

12:58:49     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : Ladan Madresehee ladan@leave2me.com

12:59:44     From  Virginia Keim   to   Hosts and panelists : I guess you get a liberated just by voicing concerns, which would be good

13:00:22     From  Gail Braverman   to   Hosts and panelists : This was a wonderful session.  Really opens up subjects difficult to talk about.  Thank you,

13:00:28     From  Steve Gurney - ProAging Community : We have a family friend she wanted to be at her Celebration of Life, so at age 90 Family have given her a Celebration with her joyful presence and participation.  She is 100 now..

13:01:02     From  Kathleen STEED   to   Hosts and panelists : Way back in the 1960s, there was a woman named Betty Dodson.  She conducted sessions where she taught women to masterbate (sp?).  Such was the 1960s.

13:01:10     From  lee de cola : i love embarrassing people...

13:01:16     From  Molly Price : Thank you both! Such good info

13:01:21     From  Joe Sperling : You might need a larger auditorium


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